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VIDEO: 10 most irritating things about Kenyans from Diaspora

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One time, a friend of mine went on a two-week tour of the USA and when she came back to Kenya, he couldn’t stop saying, “You know worr I am sayin?”

After visiting a foreign country, it’s normal to find locals adopting a tweng. Never mind, Kenyans who studied in India, Italy, Russia, Ukraine and Greece rarely return with accents that would make you mistake them for a Patel, Marco, Ivanov, Alexei or Costopoulos.

Here are 10 irritating things when Diaspora Kenyans jet home:

1. Ngai!..Am I safe?
This mohine who has lived in Dandora all his life, before getting a scholarship to study in some community church run college in Wyoming, will ask his childhood friends: “Is Buruburu safe after six?” when they ask him to join them for drinks.

2. Do you take cards?
Otieno, who grew up in Kasipul-Kabondo before he was saved by some missionaries who took him to Canada for college studies, will ask if he can swipe his Visa card at the local butchery.

3. Is that sparkling or orange water?
Seriously? How do you expect a shopkeeper in a sleepy village in Murang’a to stock sparkling water? People there drink water straight from Mathioya River and have never died of bilharzia…

READ ALSO:   Kenyans in Diaspora react to Uhuru's order on E-passport application extension until March 2020

4. Like back in the US… my foot
Every sentence has to have a comparison of how different things are like back ‘home’ in the US of A… “This traffic… my God!… like back in the US there is nothing like this!” …”Like back in the US…things are efficient, there is service delivery… “

New York. PHOTO/FILE

5. Gas is petrol, right?
These Diaspora guys come and shortly forgot they called ‘ngata’ petrol. They call it gas and thus have to go to a gas station…  supermarkets are convenience stores. And they will ask whether you moved houses to a ‘Condo’… and when you zubaa whether they meant ‘kondoo’ they correct  that it’s ‘condominium’ back in Delaware…which is a Shagz like mid Atlantic State equivalent to Ruiru in Kenya. And by the way, nobody gives a rat’s butt what you call things in the US!

6. I can’t speak Luhya fluently
These are nincompoops who used to get the ‘disk’ for not speaking proper English or Swahili and always translated English from vernacular when talking during the Kibaki presidency. But now they proudly brag through their noses that “I only speak Luhya and Swa kidogo!”

7. Is mutura inspected?
Yes, we know Kamande the butcher handles money, and still uses the same hands to roast mutura. But we have been eating his food since we got our first jobs and nothing has ever happened…apart from an occasional stomach ache that Vodka quickly cured. But when these Diaspora charlatans come everything has cholera!

Kenyan traditional sausage (Mutura). PHOTO/FILE

8. Don’t you guys tip…
Tipping waitresses and bar maids is good. But many Kenyans who just landed from London take it a step too far. Hey will tip a waitress Sh1000 after paying a Sh1, 500 bill. They even tip gas station attendants!

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9. Overnight patriots
They look for Maasai market where they buy and wear Masaai shukas and sandals everywhere. They want African things. They want to tour the Maasai Mara, yet when they lived in Pangani estate they furthest they ever went was for a “loose mbuzi thing” (read goat eating) at Ole Polos in Kajiado.

10. Polite dictators
If they have been given stuff to deliver to you, they will make sure you pick them from where they are… like when they jet at midnight, you should be there because “I don’t want luggage!” and when they go to Mombasa, they carry your stuff and you have to wait for them.

-SDE

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Africa

‘I have been living with HIV/Aids for 10 years’ Narrates rape survivor Nikita

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A South African woman identified as Nikita has won the admiration of many for publicly speaking about her journey with HIV/Aids.

Sharing her experience via her twitter account she says

‘I have survived raped twice by my uncle and a unknown man,I have survived abuse from my mom.

I grew up in a orphanage, I was conceived via rape,I got diagnosed at 18 with a CD4 of below 100.

10 years later Im stil here thanks to my arvz #Covered24_7′

Nikita, who has been living with HIV for 10 years.

In another tweet Niqita said she was once sexually once abused while expectant by someone who should have protected her.

‘Ever had to be sexually abused while pregnant simply because you needed accommodation yep that was me. It made my strong.’

Describing herself, the mother of three said that HIV does not define her.

In the recent past more and more people are sharing their HIV stories. Among the most public cases are Asumpta Wagura, the late Binyavanga Wainaina,Phenny Awiti and Doreen Moraa.

Phenny Awiti was born with the virus but only found out when she was in high school.

Doreen Moraa has been living with the disease for 20 years.

By Mpasho.co.ke

READ ALSO:   Kenyans in Diaspora react to Uhuru's order on E-passport application extension until March 2020
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Top 3 robotics process automation (RPA) tools you can train on to become a highly paid consultant

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BY BOB MWITI

If you are an IT enthusiast or you are someone who want to make a career change, there is a wide range of cutting edge technologies in the tech industry right now, that you can train on to become a highly paid consultant.

One of those technologies is Robotics Process Automation (RPA). This is a relatively new technology that is blowing up right now! There is so much demand by companies to automate business processes and yet not many people have the skills needed to implement such a complex project.

In this episode of Success With Bob Mwiti Show, I breakdown the top RPA tools that you can train on, to become a highly paid consultant. If you like my work, kindly subscribe to my YouTube channel.

A Little Bit About Me!

I am a former international student in USA and I am a senior IT consultant in the areas of Oracle EBS Financials and Robotics Process Automation (RPA) here in USA. I am the programs director of Appstec America – A consulting company based in Tampa, Florida, USA.

I’ve been blessed to have learned a lot in my career as an IT consultant. My life has truly changed, and I’ve made it my mission to give back and serve others beyond myself. Whether that be helping you to relocate to USA as an international student, train you as an IT consultant, help you start and build your own online business, creating your financial freedom, motivating you to pursue your goals and dreams, to being more productive, to inspiring you to constantly improve yourself.

READ ALSO:   Kenyan woman battling cancer in US appeals for help as doctors say she has a few days to live

My mission is to get you to wake up to the unlimited potential within you and achieve what you’re truly capable of through my various self-development training programs.On the internet, I openly and passionately share my life experiences and all of the very best concepts, strategies, tools, and resources that I continue to discover that have made a measurable difference to my life, and will do for you as well.

Keep your dream alive and never give up! To learn about my company’s amazing programs, please go to;

www.appstecamerica.com or www.successwithbobmwiti.com

Contact me at;
success@successwithbobmwiti.com
info@appstecamerica.com
+1 813-573-5619 ext 402

 

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Africa

I have not left my wife: Ex-president Jakaya Kikwete

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Former Tanzanian President Jakaya Kikwete has denied allegations that he has parted way with his wife Salma. Addressing a Chama Cha Mapenduzi (CCM) rally in Arusha on September 9 ahead of the October 28 General Elections, Mr Kiwete sought to put to rest the rumours propagated on social media.

“Should I, or should I not say?” Mr Kikwete posed to the crowd which cheered him on.

“I’ve heard that people were saying that ‘this lady has been dumped and that’s why she wants to become a Member of Parliament’. Do you want to take my wife from me? I have not left her,” said a laughing Mr Kiwete.

Making history

Mama Salma, as she’s popularly referred to by Tanzanians made history in 2017 after becoming the first former first lady to become MP after being nominated by President John Magufuli. Mrs Kikwete’s nomination was, however, viewed as a move to reach out to politicians with a big influence within CCM, as they were seen to be drifting away from the president.

After Mr Kikwete stepped down in 2015 after serving 10 years as president as per the constitution limit, Mrs Kikwete vigorously campaigned for Mr Bernard Membe, a close family friend to clinch the CCM seat and succeed her husband.

READ ALSO:   Kenyan in Atlanta counts blessings, owns two successful businesses

Soon after clinching the seat, rumours started swirling that President Magufuli’s crackdown on tax evasion at the Port of Dar es Salaam put him at odds with the Kikwete family as firms they were in business with were under investigation.

However, Mr Kikwete and President Magufuli both dismissed the allegations as a mudslinging campaign.

Women empowerment

During her tenure as First Lady, Mama Salma was hailed for being at the forefront of empowering women. She founded the Wanawake na Maendeleo (Wama), a non-profit dealing with women empowerment. She also founded Wama Secondary School, an institution that enrols bright but disadvantaged girls.

By SDE

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