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At 31, unmarried with a strong desire to have a family, Joy made adoption her first option

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Joy Mueni, 36, is a driven academic who received her MA at 23, and her PhD at 32. Although she does not think of herself as bold and daring, her friends and family believe she is. And so it was not a surprise when, at the age of 31, she decided to start a family but followed an unorthodox path that not many are brave enough to follow. She shares her story.

When I hit 31, I woke up one day and decided it was time for me to start a family. I often make plans for my life, and as you can imagine, I had planned that by the time I was 30, I would have my own family. I grew up in a small, close-knit family filled with lots of love. From the time I was a young girl, I always knew I wanted a family. Like many people, I thought that, at the right time, preferably 28 years of age, I would get married. I had everything planned from the colour, to the theme. The only thing missing was a groom. I had dated a bit but I had not met someone with whom I felt comfortable forming a life-long partnership. I started asking myself whether marriage was really for me. As I wondered and questioned myself, my friends were getting married.

As 30 approached, I found myself unmarried and with a strong desire to have a family. Then one day, it dawned on me that there are other ways of having a family as opposed to the mainstream idea of getting married and birthing children. I also realised that there were other definitions of what a family was and key to me was that a mother and her children are a family. I researched into alternative forms of having children — in line with God’s word — such as In Vitro Fertilisation and adoption. After intense research and prayer, I decided that I would adopt. Of course, I was scared and unsure but determined, nonetheless.

Telling my mother and family

The first person I shared the idea with was my mother and, at first, she was a bit hesitant. She asked me to think about it more. Though I believed in my idea, I respected her wishes and gave it six months before I broached the subject again. Six months later, after praying over it, I took her for lunch and told her that I had decided to adopt and she gave me her blessing.

Apart from my mother’s blessing, I knew that I also needed social support and that, I needed my extended family’s blessing. So, I toured the country from Nyeri to Makueni and Machakos informing my aunties and uncles of my plans. This was necessary as I wanted my children to be fully accepted by our relatives. They all gave me their blessings.

My adoption experiences

When I decided to adopt my first-born child, I was very unsure of the process. The good thing is that I love reading and so I took time and did a lot of online research on the adoption process. I settled on Kenya Children’s Adoption Agency that is based along Lang’ata Road. Once I visited, the officer there gave me a lot of information and I was satisfied that I was in the right place. I started the adoption process in mid-May of 2013 and by end of September, I had the child home with me.

After you take the baby home, there is a compulsory three-month bonding period with the baby after which, you are required to file your case in court. In that December, I remember I could hardly wait for the offices to open in January as I was in a hurry to go to court. I filed my petition in January and after several court appearances, I was granted full parental rights in May. Soon thereafter, I followed up with the registrar of persons and got an adoption certificate which I thereafter used to get a birth certificate and later a passport.

I never thought I would have my second child. But as her sister grew, I was convinced that adopting another child would be nice. The problem this time was that there was a moratorium on local and international adoptions. Since there was nothing I could do, I prayed that the moratorium would be lifted. When the local adoptions moratorium was lifted, I went to the first agency that got licensed. My experience with them was not as smooth as with Kenya Children’s Home Adoption agency. Nonetheless, I brought the child home on a cold Monday morning in November 2016. She is now over two years old. They both love each other and every time I look at them playing, I feel joy that I cannot compare with anything in this world.

I would highly encourage anyone willing to adopt to go ahead. The process is clear and straightforward. The only thing that you can’t determine is the time it will take. There are a lot of things that are not in your control or the adoption agencies’ control. Just start. As surely as the sun rises in the East, the process will come to an end in God’s perfect timing.

I have become happier. I am more focused and purpose-driven. I have become more responsible. Whatever I do or wherever I go, I know at the back of my mind that there are two children who depend on me for their survival. This is a great responsibility and I enjoy it. I like that I can mould them to be Christians and noble citizens.

When the children were younger, the greatest challenge I had was general fatigue. I have come to realise that we mothers are strong. There is a time that I survived on four-hour nights as the rest of the time was invested in taking care of the children. They would wake up at night and no amount of sleep training would help. The other challenge of course is financial. I wish I had more money to invest in them. As of now, I am content with what we have but of course more is required.

Source: Standard Media

 

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Echesa: Ruto didn’t protect his allies

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The Jubilee Party purge has triggered a dramatic falling out within Deputy President William Ruto’s camp in Western Kenya.

His allies are now questioning his silence in the wake of their removal from various positions.

Former Sports Cabinet Secretary Rashid Echesa drew first blood Wednesday when he lashed out at the DP for his silence after Tuesday’s sacking of Mumias East MP Benjamin Washiali as the Majority Whip.

“I am sure if Mr Ruto had pleaded with the President, Mr Washiali would have survived the axe,” Mr Echesa said.

He added: “There has been talk about Mr Atwoli and Oparanya pushing for the changes, but I never saw them at State House. The person I saw was the Deputy President and unfortunately, he didn’t raise a finger on the fate of Mr Washiali”.

The former CS, who is facing criminal charges related to an arms procurement scam, spoke a day after a Jubilee Parliamentary Group meeting made changes to the majority leadership in the National Assembly.

While Majority Leader Aden Duale survived the purge, Mr Washiali and his deputy Cecily Mbarire were not lucky. Navakholo MP Emmanuel Wangwe replaced Mr Washiali, while Igembe North MP Maoka Maore took over from Ms Mbarire.

Mr Wangwe took office with gusto, extending the purge to 16 MPs. He issued the legislators allied to the DP with letters notifying them of the party’s intention to remove them from various House committees.

Among those issued with the letters was Kikuyu MP Kimani Ichung’wa, whose position as the chairman of the Budget and Appropriations Committee now hangs in the balance, unless, of course, he shifts his loyalty to the President in the next seven days.

Other letters the Nation has seen are those of Gatundu South MP Moses Kuria, the vice-chair of the Transport committee, Aldai MP Cornelly Serem (vice-Trade), Bomet Woman Rep Joyce Korir (vice-chair, Labour committee), and Endebess MP Robert Pukose (vice-chair, Health committee).

On Wednesday, Mr Wangwe refused to speak about the changes arguing that he is yet to be confirmed into his position by the Speaker.

But Echesa was unrelenting.

“The DP is the General, and we have been fighting for him. I can’t understand how a General can abandon his troops and remain silent when they are being purged the way we have seen in Jubilee Party,” he said.

According to Mr Echesa, DP Ruto is silent because he thinks he will exploit the sackings in 2022. The DP, he said, had calculated that the sackings would cause anger within the community’s political elite, to his advantage.

He told the DP that he will be disappointed if he expects a fallout within the luhya leadership.

But Mr Washiali rejected the assertion and defended the DP against the claims, noting that the former CS does not understand how the “system” works.

He didn’t not elaborate on what he meant by the “system”, but claimed that he had been shown the door for refusing to execute “dirty” work for some powerful forces in Jubilee.

“The problem is not me; it is my conscience,” he said. “You have seen my successor do funny things like the ones Mr Irungu Kang’ata is doing in the Senate, removing people from committees without any valid reason. That is what I refused to do and that is why I am being punished.”

He said he had done his best during his time in the office and insisted that no one can assume ownership of a public office.

“The office can be taken away any time as it happened. I was prepared for that eventuality,” he said. Using a metaphor of a football team, Mr Washiali argued that even best scorers are rested after scoring goals.

“You score and the coach rests you because he is preparing for the next match. I have a future to look forward to. This is the start of a journey,” he said.

Mr Washiali had earlier blamed ODM leader Raila Odinga for his tribulations.

Describing the Mr Odinga as a stranger in Jubilee, Mr Washiali said the Handshake was a sinister move aimed at humiliating MPs allied to the DP.

“He (Mr Odinga) is a stranger who came to our house to get a go at our parents. To do that, he must obliterate all the children” he said, when he addressed the media at the home of Bungoma Senator Moses Wetangula.

Mr Echesa’s eruption signals tough times in the DP’s base, especially in Western Kenya.

By Nation.co.ke

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Betty Kyallo winning at co-parenting

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Betty Kyallo and her ex-husband Dennis Okari are ow co-parenting.

Speaking on her YouTube channel, she revealed they recently had a meeting.

Good morning guys. I have a busy day and I’m hoping to accomplish. I’m heading to the new flair by Betty where we’re relocating to. We have to finish by the end of this week because I already gave notice at FCB Mihrab and I’m to move out. After that, I have to go Kijabe street to check out the floorings, then visit a lighting shop, then go to the furniture shop on Mombasa road. After that, I have a meeting with Ivanna’s father (Okari) then meet my brand manager.

She didn’t vlog the part she met with Okari. Speaking to her daughter Ivanna who was busy scrolling through her phone, she asked

Ooh you took photos with your daddy? Daddy came to see you?

‘Yes,’ the little girl responded.

Her fans were happy to hear that she was on good terms with Okari and Abdirashid Abdi wrote,

Meeting with Ivan’s dad wow that is amazing

Recently, Betty Kyallo shared a video, confirming that she and Okari were co-parenting and he has been meeting their daughter.

‘MY BABY IS BECOMING A SWEET LITTLE GIRL 🎈🎈 SHE CHOOSES WHAT TO WEAR SHE LIKES DRESSES AND TRACK SUITS JUST LIKE ME❤️ SHE CHOSE WHAT TO WEAR TODAY BECAUSE SHE HAD A DATE WITH HER DAD ‘SHE LOVES MAKEUP, LIPSTICK ESPECIALLY 🤗🤗 SHE DOESN’T LIKE CUDDLES ANYMORE, I HAVE TO BEG FOR KISSES, SHE GIVES HUGS EASILY AND SHE DOESN’T LIKE OATS ANYMORE😆 I’M HAPPY GOD GAVE ME A SECOND CHANCE WITH HER,’ she posted a few days below she left K24. TV.

By Mpasho.co.ke

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VIDEO: Teacher Wanjiku’s reaction after receiving special message from Lupita Nyong’o

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This past weekend, actress Lupita Nyong’o went on to appreciate teacher Wanjiku in a post shared on her official instagram post.

As seen on the post, Lupita celebrated the mother of two for being an inspiration; and a perfect getaway especially with the ongoing lockdown.

According to Lupita Nyong’o, Teacher Wanjiku’s funny video clips have been keeping her busy during the compulsory lockdown; hence making life more bearable for her.

Through her instagram page the American actress went on to write saying;

When the world is dark and I’m feeling low… there’s always @teacherwanjiku! Thank you for lifting my spirits this morning and taking me back home for a moment. #SorryWorld, this post will be enjoyed by the Swahili speakers and folks who like the sound of a foreign language and those who just like hearing people laughing. Watch the whole bit on her ig page.

Kenyan product

Having started her career back home in Kenya; this was indeed a good gesture coming from Lupita who is now an international actress.

This is the first time the lady has gone ahead to appreciate the Kenyan talent through her instagram page. For this reason teacher Wanjiku on the other had – could not keep calm after being tagged on the post.

Through her instagram page, the comedian appreciated the love from Lupita as she thanked her for supporting the Kenyan talent.

Thank you @lupitanyongo 🙏 Asante sana #wajohn Ameenda international 😂😂😂😂😂

https://www.instagram.com/p/CAxrbyZALJ7/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

On the comment section fans also congratulated Teacher Wanjiku for the hard work she has been putting in all these years.

Others also felt challenged after seeing such a big star appreciate the comedian; wherelse other Kenyans prefer appreciating international acts, when the real deal is just in front of their eyes.

BY Ghafla.co.ke

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