Connect with us

Entertainment

At 31, unmarried with a strong desire to have a family, Joy made adoption her first option

Published

on

Joy Mueni, 36, is a driven academic who received her MA at 23, and her PhD at 32. Although she does not think of herself as bold and daring, her friends and family believe she is. And so it was not a surprise when, at the age of 31, she decided to start a family but followed an unorthodox path that not many are brave enough to follow. She shares her story.

When I hit 31, I woke up one day and decided it was time for me to start a family. I often make plans for my life, and as you can imagine, I had planned that by the time I was 30, I would have my own family. I grew up in a small, close-knit family filled with lots of love. From the time I was a young girl, I always knew I wanted a family. Like many people, I thought that, at the right time, preferably 28 years of age, I would get married. I had everything planned from the colour, to the theme. The only thing missing was a groom. I had dated a bit but I had not met someone with whom I felt comfortable forming a life-long partnership. I started asking myself whether marriage was really for me. As I wondered and questioned myself, my friends were getting married.

As 30 approached, I found myself unmarried and with a strong desire to have a family. Then one day, it dawned on me that there are other ways of having a family as opposed to the mainstream idea of getting married and birthing children. I also realised that there were other definitions of what a family was and key to me was that a mother and her children are a family. I researched into alternative forms of having children — in line with God’s word — such as In Vitro Fertilisation and adoption. After intense research and prayer, I decided that I would adopt. Of course, I was scared and unsure but determined, nonetheless.

Telling my mother and family

The first person I shared the idea with was my mother and, at first, she was a bit hesitant. She asked me to think about it more. Though I believed in my idea, I respected her wishes and gave it six months before I broached the subject again. Six months later, after praying over it, I took her for lunch and told her that I had decided to adopt and she gave me her blessing.

Apart from my mother’s blessing, I knew that I also needed social support and that, I needed my extended family’s blessing. So, I toured the country from Nyeri to Makueni and Machakos informing my aunties and uncles of my plans. This was necessary as I wanted my children to be fully accepted by our relatives. They all gave me their blessings.

My adoption experiences

When I decided to adopt my first-born child, I was very unsure of the process. The good thing is that I love reading and so I took time and did a lot of online research on the adoption process. I settled on Kenya Children’s Adoption Agency that is based along Lang’ata Road. Once I visited, the officer there gave me a lot of information and I was satisfied that I was in the right place. I started the adoption process in mid-May of 2013 and by end of September, I had the child home with me.

After you take the baby home, there is a compulsory three-month bonding period with the baby after which, you are required to file your case in court. In that December, I remember I could hardly wait for the offices to open in January as I was in a hurry to go to court. I filed my petition in January and after several court appearances, I was granted full parental rights in May. Soon thereafter, I followed up with the registrar of persons and got an adoption certificate which I thereafter used to get a birth certificate and later a passport.

I never thought I would have my second child. But as her sister grew, I was convinced that adopting another child would be nice. The problem this time was that there was a moratorium on local and international adoptions. Since there was nothing I could do, I prayed that the moratorium would be lifted. When the local adoptions moratorium was lifted, I went to the first agency that got licensed. My experience with them was not as smooth as with Kenya Children’s Home Adoption agency. Nonetheless, I brought the child home on a cold Monday morning in November 2016. She is now over two years old. They both love each other and every time I look at them playing, I feel joy that I cannot compare with anything in this world.

I would highly encourage anyone willing to adopt to go ahead. The process is clear and straightforward. The only thing that you can’t determine is the time it will take. There are a lot of things that are not in your control or the adoption agencies’ control. Just start. As surely as the sun rises in the East, the process will come to an end in God’s perfect timing.

I have become happier. I am more focused and purpose-driven. I have become more responsible. Whatever I do or wherever I go, I know at the back of my mind that there are two children who depend on me for their survival. This is a great responsibility and I enjoy it. I like that I can mould them to be Christians and noble citizens.

When the children were younger, the greatest challenge I had was general fatigue. I have come to realise that we mothers are strong. There is a time that I survived on four-hour nights as the rest of the time was invested in taking care of the children. They would wake up at night and no amount of sleep training would help. The other challenge of course is financial. I wish I had more money to invest in them. As of now, I am content with what we have but of course more is required.

Source: Standard Media

 

Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Entertainment

Njugush voted most influential young Kenyan

Published

on

By JUDITH GICOBI

Comedian Njugush, real name Timothy Kimani, is the 2019 Most Influential Young Kenyan in the 3rd annual ranking poll of influential young Kenyans conducted by PR & Rating firm, Avance Media.

The ranking lists a total of 100 Personalities-Kenyans who are young and extraordinary. 56 females featured on the list. Njugush is the 3rd winner of the coveted title after Daniel ‘Churchill’ Ndambuki (2016) and Dr Darshan Chandaria (2018).

Njugush has put in a lot of efforts to grow his career by using social media platforms to showcase his work and content. 

He was also voted among the 100 Most Influential Young Kenyans in 2018.

Betty Kyallo, Kenyan media personality and host on K24 TV, was also voted the Most Influential Female on the ranking.

Others in the top 5 spots are musician Samidoh, 2019 Global Teacher Prize winner Peter Tabichi and activist and founder of Ukweli Party, Boniface Mwangi.

“The ranking, which celebrates young people annually features 100 inspiring change-makers and leaders making great accomplishments in their diverse industries. Be it as entrepreneurs, musicians, activists, media personalities, social impact and philanthropy leaders, public servants, thought leaders and politicians,” said Prince Akpah, the Managing Director of Avance Media.

Others voted as the most influential in their respective categories are:

Anerlisa Muigai (CEO, Nero) – Business

Samidoh (Musician) – Entertainment

Boniface Mwangi (Founder, Ukweli Party) – Law and Governance

Nafula Kisiangani (CEO, Ubuntu Development Solution) – Leadership and Civil Society

Njugush (Comedian) – Lifestyle

Betty Kyallo (OAP, K24) – Media

Peter Tabichi (Teacher) – Personal Development and Academia

Stellah Wairimu Bosire-Otieno (Dr) (CEO, Kenya Medical Association) – Science & Technology

Anne Wawira Njiru (Founder, Food4Education) – Social Enterprise & Philanthropy

Michael Olunga (Footballer, Kashiwa Reysol) – Sports

Continue Reading

Entertainment

‘Critics said I sold my uterus for fame,’ Anne Kansime confesses

Published

on

Ugandan comedian Anne Kansime has in an interview with Massawe Japanni revealed some of the worst comments people said about her.

Kansime debunked the conjecture in the lengthy radio interview.

She confesses that people outrightly accused her of sacrificing her chance at motherhood for fame.

Some people were trying to figure out why I did not have kids with my ex-husband Gerald Ojok.

Anne Kansime and her ex-husband

She adds that despite the fact that it was all lies, (she has her uterus intact. Her only issue is that she had no way of proving it to her critics.

So they said that I had sold my uterus for fame. The sad thing is even if its not true there is no way you can be able to show people that your uterus is till intact.

She sarcastically adds that if she had sold her uterus she would have no qualms directing others to where she did the ‘transaction’.

I can direct people who have a uterus and feel like they want to sell it for fame, to where they said I sold mine.

Anne Kansime

Anne Kansime who is well known for her show ‘Don’t Mess With Kansime’ is in Kenya to look for talent for the recently launched East Africa Got Talent.

She is the host of the talent show.

After her breakup with Ojok, Kansime hooked up with rapper Sky Lanta.

Anne Kansime and her current boyfriend Sky

By Mpasho

Continue Reading

Entertainment

‘I fell in love with toyboy with body of a god…but now I’m broke and stranded’

Published

on

When the handsome young stranger clicked “like” on one of her Facebooksnaps, Claire Alcantara felt her heart flutter. She had no idea then that pursuing her admirer would leave her stranded in the Dominican Republic and drained of her £40,000 (Sh5.2 million) life savings.

Claire, 46, admits she ignored the howls of protest from her three daughters to begin a cyber romance with student Franklin Alcantara – who is 12 years her junior.

Franklin went missing not long after the couple got married (Image: Claire Alcantara)

And today she reveals how their marriage ended in disaster.Speaking from the Caribbean shack she now calls home, she says: “I’m heartbroken and penniless.”Claire was so besotted she even ditched her British passport for Irish citizenship to secure her beau a spousal visa and move him into her home in the West Midlands.Two years ago she sold up and moved to his country, where she renovated Franklin’s family home.

But things soured when Franklin went missing.Claire says: “He told me he was moving to Punta Cana to build a hotel as part of his civil engineering course, but he actually went back to England.”She says his family evicted her after she reported him to immigration.

The former teaching assistant is desperate to return to her hometown of Dudley, but says she can’t afford the flight. Now, she says her husband is “living illegally in the UK”.It was in 2013 that they began messaging on Facebook. Claire says: “He was good looking and had the body of a god.

Soon we were Skyping daily. I’d just come out of a terrible divorce so it felt exciting.”After six months, she applied for Franklin to visit the UK on a tourist visa but the application was rejected.So she flew to the Caribbean for a month, where she says she started spending money on his family home. Once she returned to the UK, the couple decided to marry.

Claire and witness Angelo on her and Franklin Alcantara’s wedding day (Image: Claire Alcantara)

She admits: “My daughters said, ‘don’t do it’.” But they married in the Dominican Republic in October 2013.Her attempts to bring Franklin to the UK were repeatedly rejected by British immigration, so she applied for an Irish passport, the country of her father’s birth.She says: “I was advised UK law would override EU law so I decided to give up my British citizenship so I was solely Irish – or an EU citizen living in the UK. He was granted a UK visa as spouse of an EU worker.

”In June 2014 she moved him into her home with her adult daughters, and opened a “joint account” in the Dominican Republic to fund the building of a flat on top of Franklin’s father’s house.“I spent £15,000,” she says.

In December 2017 they sold up in the UK and moved there for good.Claire says she bought Franklin a £10,000 Jeep – and continued transferring cash to their “joint account”.But after a series of rows, in March 2018 Claire contacted the British Embassy for advice about her rights and says she was told that their “joint” account was solely in his name. “I fainted with shock,” she says.

“When I confronted Franklin, he claimed it was a misunderstanding.”Days later, he announced plans to work away for three months. She says: “Soon three months became six. I started to get suspicious.”In December 2018, she discovered he was living in England with another woman.

She has now found a “very low-paid” job in Santo Domingo and is staying with a new boyfriend, but is desperate to get home.She says: “I spent all my money on Franklin and can’t afford the flight. I should never have sacrificed a thing for him.”Back in the UK, Franklin reveals he is to be deported next month.

He says of his wife: “We had a good relationship in England, then Claire said we had to go to Dominican Republic because she couldn’t live with her daughter.”I wanted to stay in England.“We lived in a house with my dad.

She was the one that said let’s do the floor, the window bars, the paint.”It was about £6,000, not £15,000. Then she brought her daughter and they were always fighting.“I lied and said I was going to Punta Cana. If I told her I was going to England, Claire would have said no because it was too cold.”Yes, I had a new girlfriend, but she dumped me after Claire contacted her.”

By Mirror

Continue Reading


poapay3

Like us on Facebook, stay informed

NEWS TRENDING RIGHT NOW

2019 Calendar

satellite-communication1.jpg

Trending

error: Content is protected !!