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Enter Grace: Kori left me for Mary in 2010, but I will still stand by him

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He packed his belongings on October 24, 2010 and left her as she cried and begged him to allow her to pray for him one more time.

She knew he was leaving her for another woman, but still asked him never to forget how far they had come together.

Grace Wanjiku Kariuki would next see her husband nine years later; not physically, but on TV screens. He was behind the well of a court, wan and haggard, and, to make matters worse, accused of murder.

As Joseph Kori Karue bowed his head in shame before a Kiambu court on Tuesday this week, standing next to a woman believed to be his latest mistress, Grace was inside her small house in Kayole, watching the man she once loved soak in the police accusations of conspiring with his mistress to kill the woman he left Grace for.

“I was shocked beyond words,” she said yesterday. “I was called by one of my aunts, who asked me if I had heard what had happened to my estranged husband. I saw the video clips of him in court, wiping his tears next to a woman I knew nothing about, accused of the worst crime under the sun.”

She had reached out to him last week, asking him to send money to pay school fees for their 11-year-old daughter. He did not respond to her message, but she was sure he would do so later, like he always did.

 

Grace Wanjiku Kariuki breaks down into tears, she alleges to be the first wife to Joseph Kori during the interview at Queen B Botique shop at Kayole Corner,Nairobi. January 31, 2019. Picture Kanyiri Wahito

Theirs was love brewed in Kayole, where the two first lived as they struggled to make ends meet. Kori was a rice trader while Grace ran a small clothes business. She told of a man who knows how to love and could not stand to see someone get hurt.

“We met through a mutual friend and immediately fell in love, and after some time we decided to move in together. Our first rented home was a single room where we paid Sh1,500 in monthly rent. We later moved to another house where we paid Sh1,800 per month,” she said.

READ ALSO:   Mistress hawked eggs before Kori upgraded her lifestyle

Because of the kind of business he was in, Kori used to travel to Mwea regularly and moved from retail shop to retail shop marketing it. She discontinued her business to join her husband in the rice trade, which she felt was more promising.

“Later, an uncle who lives in Nakuru invited us for a visit, and during our stay there, Kori’s aunt introduced us to timber business. We had some savings, including Sh100,000 in my bank account, and we contributed to start the timber business.”

Soon the business grew, says Grace, forcing them to employ casuals as they still lived in Nairobi. Their plan was to open another timber yard in the city.

Within no time, Kori was swimming in money as furniture companies started sourcing timber from him, but the icing on the cake was when he won a tender to supply electricity power line poles to the Rural Electrification Authority.

“With the newfound money, we moved to a two-bedroom house and even employed a maid because I was expecting our first child — a boy I later lost to still birth,” Grace said. “We even bought our first car, a Toyota Premio.”

A past picture of Grace Wanjiku Kariuki with a man alleging to be Joseph Kori during the interview with her at Queen B Botique shop at Kayole Corner,Nairobi. January 31, 2019. Picture Kanyiri Wahito

In 2008, and with the future looking up, Kori formally asked Grace’s parents, who also lived in Kayole, for her hand in marriage.

“Like any other couple, we had downtimes in our marriage, but we dealt with them amicably. He used to encourage me to work hard and assured me that he would never leave me because we had struggled together and managed to upgrade our lives,” Grace said. Unapproachable

Her husband, she said, started drifting away after she gave birth to their daughter. He started being cagey, always receiving calls she suspected were from a woman, switching off the mobile phone whenever he was home, and generally being moody and almost unapproachable.

“He would go to Nakuru and spend days without coming home like he used to. He generally just changed his character, but denied every time I asked him if he was having an affair. One day I received a text message from a woman who identified herself as Mary Wambui Kamangara. She told me that she wanted to confirm to me that she was the woman in my husband’s life,” Grace said.

READ ALSO:   Fourth woman in Kori love life emerges, says they have a son

“I called her and told her to stop dating my husband, and informed her we had a daughter together. She called my husband, who asked me to apologise to her, telling me that she was the one who had given us the timber contracts. I did so.”

She said their affair grew from bad to worse when, one day, Kori drove to Nakuru straight from Jomo Kenyatta International Airport in Nairobi soon after arriving into the country from a foreign trip, ignoring Grace and their daughter.

“Later, I met his friend in Nairobi and he asked me why I had not attended our house warming party in Nakuru.

“I discovered that my husband had secretly bought a house and Mary had moved in. When I asked him, he denied that Mary was living in the house and told me that he was furnishing it and we would move in soon,” Grace said.

In the meantime, Mary kept calling Grace, coolly confirming to her that she was already living with Kori and claiming they were already married.

“I was hurt. I did not know what to do. When I tried to protest, she asked me to go to Nakuru so that we could parade ourselves and let Kori choose whom he wants. I used to cry day and night until neighbours and friends nicknamed me ‘Mama wa Kulia’. I went into depression. My daughter and I were all alone.

“On October 24, 2010, I lost him completely. He came to the house and packed all his stuff, including documents, and left. I tried everything to make him stay, but he had made up his mind.

“He was in a hurry, but after a long period of persuasion, I grabbed his hands, put them together between my palms, and prayed for him. I knew he was leaving me for another woman, but I told him I would always pray for him,” Grace said from her Kayole shop yesterday.

READ ALSO:   How I helped mistress dump wife’s dead body, man confesses to role in Wambui murder

Kori, she added, never visited her and their daughter again, but he would send a cheque to the child’s school for fees.

“My daughter has been asking about her father but I have always lied to her that he went to the US. One day, she said she would not eat because she was fasting for her father to return from America. She stares at our pictures and says she misses her father, even though she was only three when he left us,” she said.

She said that, after Kori left, she spent most of her time in church, praying that she would forgive her estranged husband and Mary. Five years ago she finally decided to let go, to move on with her life and stop fighting to get his love back, but requested him to help with school fees and books.

Their communication, she said, started revolving around their daughter’s fees, books, uniform and medication, although Mary would send her provoking pictures and messages.

“I blocked all avenues of trying to dig into how Mary and Kori lived. I just did not want to hear anything about their affair. I only heard about Mary’s murder and about the other woman on Monday. I am still in shock.”

Since the news about the murder broke, she said, many questions have crossed her mind. What if I was in his life? Would I have been the one murdered? What will happen to his children now? What exactly happened, and who is this other woman?

My daughter’s brother

“It has been a mixture of emotions. I have always prayed to God to fight for me, but never in my wildest imagination did I wish death on Mary. She may have abused me several times, but I have never wanted her dead. I am a mother and she bore a child whose veins carry the same blood as my daughter’s. Her son is my daughter’s brother,” she said.

Grace said she will stand with her husband now that he needs her the most, because she still loves him and, even though he left, she forgave him.

“The court will decide whether he is guilty or innocent, but I will stand by him. He is the father of my child and he taught me love after I experienced animosity from an abusive stepfather. He is still the only man I love. When I saw him in court, I saw a man overwhelmed by circumstances.”

He needs help.”

Source: Daily Nation

 

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Here dad: Secret to being a good father

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Past child development research often ignored fathers. But new studies are finding that non-maternal caregivers play a crucial role in children’s behaviour, happiness, even cognitive skills.

Today, many dads are celebrated for being sensitive, caring and hands-on. A growing body of research is transforming our understanding of how they can shape their children’s lives from the start, challenging conventional ideas of parenthood and gender.

This is striking given that until the 1970s, the role of fathers in their children’s development was not much studied. Their most important job was seen as economically supporting the mother, who would in turn be the emotional anchor for the child.

“There was a lot of focus on how relationships with mothers were very important, and there was very little thought about other social relationships,” says Michael Lamb, a psychologist at the University of Cambridge who has been studying fathers since the 1970s. “The most obvious of those was the father-child relationship — a relationship that was viewed as more important as children grow older, but was always viewed as secondary to the mother-child relationship.”

Now, new research is showing that the social world of children is much richer, and more complex, than previously thought.

It is not just dads who have moved into the spotlight. Grandparents, same-sex parents, step-parents and single parents have also helped researchers understand what really makes a child thrive — and that it’s not just about one caregiver.

Benefits

A range of recent studies show how flexible parenting roles can be. Psychologist Ruth Feldman of Israel’s Bar-Ilan University has found that, just like mothers, fathers experience a hormonal boost when caring for their babies, which helps the bonding process. When dads are the main caregivers, their brains adapt to the task.

And emotional involvement matters. Babies with emotionally engaged dads show better mental development as toddlers and are less likely to have behavioural problems later on, compared to babies whose dads behave in a more detached way. Older children benefit, too. Those whose fathers, or father figures, are more emotionally supportive, tend to be more satisfied with life and have better relationships with teachers and other children.

READ ALSO:   Murder: Kori offered 'mpango wa kando' millions to shut up

“The factors that lead to the formation of relationships are exactly the same for mother and father,” Lamb says.

Past research has found that mothers and fathers do tend to interact differently with small children: mothers bond more through gentle caretaking, while fathers typically bond through play. But that, Lamb says, has less to do with gender and more with the division of childcare.

Studies of same-sex couples and stay-at-home dads have shown that regardless of gender, it is the parent who works during the day, and comes home in the evening, who tends to play wilder games, like picking up their baby and swinging them around. The parent who looks after the baby all day is likely to interact with them more calmly.

In heterosexual couples, the parent who takes on most of the care during the day is often still the mother for a range of social and economic reasons. But involving dads more from the start can have many benefits, research has shown. And play, regardless of whether it’s calm or boisterous, is particularly beneficial.

“Play is the language of childhood: it’s the way children explore the world, it’s how they build relationships with other children,” says Paul Ramchandani, who studies play in education, development and learning at the University of Cambridge. He and his team observed fathers playing with their babies in the first months of life, then tracked the children’s development. They found that early father-baby interactions are much more important than previously assumed.

READ ALSO:   Mistress hawked eggs before Kori upgraded her lifestyle

Babies whose dads were more active and engaged during play had fewer behavioural difficulties at age one compared to those with more distant or detached dads. They also did better in cognitive tests at two, for example in their ability to recognise shapes. These outcomes were independent of the mother’s relationship with the child.

Ramchandani cautions that the results should not be interpreted as a clear causal link. Instead of directly affecting their children’s development, the distant dads’ behaviour could, for example, be a sign of other problems in the family. Still, he sees the study as an encouragement to play with your child long before they can crawl and talk: “Some dads don’t do that when the babies are young because they’re unsure about what they should do, or unsure if they’re doing the right things.” Of course, new mothers may feel similarly hesitant.

But Ramchandani says it can be as simple as sitting the baby on your lap, making eye contact, and observing what they enjoy.

“It’s the getting involved that’s the most important thing, because you’ll get better at it if you practice it. It’s not something that comes naturally to everybody. Some people are really good at it, but for most people it takes practice,” he says.

In many ways, fathers are more involved than ever. But the bulk of parenting still seems to fall to women. Around the world, women spend up to 10 times more time on unpaid care work – including childcare – than men.

“I think we’re at a crossroads in terms of how we view fathers,” says Anna Machin, an anthropologist and author of The Life of Dad, a book on modern fathering.

Machin argues that while most dads want to be more active at home, the workplace has not really adapted to this. “That’s where the tension is for men at the moment: between needing and wanting to care, and also needing to still provide,” she says.

READ ALSO:   Fourth woman in Kori love life emerges, says they have a son

Reversal of roles

Given the financial pressures many families face, Machin fears there could actually be a reversal to more traditional roles: “If you’re a dad now, if you want to be involved, you have to be a bit of a pioneer in the workplace. You have to go against all that culture of, ‘men go back to work’. You have to be the one to go, ‘Actually, I want to assert my rights’.

“And that’s quite a hard thing to do.”

A more equal division can have many long-term benefits. Researchers led by sociologists Helen Norman and Colette Fagan at the University of Manchester found that fathers were more likely to be involved when the child was aged three if they shared childcare equally when the child was nine months old.

In Scotland, a study of more than 2,500 families showed that supportive father-child relationships matter as much as mother-child relationships for children’s wellbeing.

“One of the points we’ve learned is that there isn’t a model of the ideal father. There isn’t a recipe for what the father needs to do or what sorts of behaviour he needs to emulate,” says Lamb. Ultimately, he says, it’s about being emotionally available, and meeting the child’s needs. “Different people do that in different ways. There’s been a lot of talk about, ‘do dads need to do that in a masculine way?’ And the answer is no, they don’t need to.

“They need to do it in a way that makes sense for them, that feels authentic, that allows them to be fully and coherently engaged in the relationship with their child.”

by Standardmedia.co.ke

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Rapper Khaligraph Jones, wife welcome second born baby

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BY KEVIN KOECH

Kenyan rapper Brian Omollo aka Khaligraph Jones and his wife Georgina Muteti have welcomed a new born baby into their family.

Reports indicate that the couple welcomed their second born baby two weeks ago, but kept the news a secret.

Taking to Instagram, Muteti mentioned that she gave birth to her second born through normal delivery, despite having an emergency Cesarean Section (CS) for her first born, baby Amali.

“I did it! I got my VBAC! 11/10/20 12:58AM, After having a caesarean birth *emergency* with my first child(Amali),I had a safe vaginal delivery with my second. Baby Lu

“That was only after changing hospitals twice,switching doctors last minute and believing in myself! Through prayer and screaming during labour I delivered my son. I’m a happy and tired mum of two now!” Read Muteti’s post.

READ ALSO:   Wambui suffered an extremely painful death, she took nine killer blows to the head, was suffocated: AUTOPSY 
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DP Ruto calls out NSAC over public gathering rules

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BY KEVIN KOECH

Deputy President William Ruto lashed out at the government for restricting public gatherings in the country.

Ruto was speaking on Sunday the 25th of October 2020 while at a church service in Our Lady of Assumption, Indangalasia Catholic Church, Kakamega.

The second in command blasted the National Security Advisory Committee (NSAC) further condemning the restriction on visiting churches.

“We will not accept the restriction of church services in the country; worship should not be restricted in any way. You cannot be restricted to worship, hold prayer meetings until someone issues a go-ahead,” Ruto said.

Further adding,

“That is not possible. I want to tell those who think our constitutional right to worship God in the manner that we please is going to be conditioned in permission from whoever.”

Not one to sway from what he believes, Ruto defiantly announced he would continue visiting churches.

According to him, he does not need to seek permission to attend church services.

Ruto further added that he attends church services because he believes in God.

He then condemned the government for limiting citizens’ right to worship.

The second in command went on to note that it is impossible to negotiate on religion matters.

READ ALSO:   Murder: Kori offered 'mpango wa kando' millions to shut up

“I want to remind government officials, the jubilee government was formed after prayers for I and Uhuru, we cannot be the same government announcing restrictions on worship

“I want to ask public officers, to keep off matters of worship because they are not negotiable, we cannot negotiate on matters to do with worship with anybody or any law,” Ruto said.

Ruto’s visit to the Our Lady of Assumption, Indangalasia Catholic Church was supposed to be on March.

However, he had to postpone it after the coronavirus pandemic hit the nation.

The police also recently refused to approve Ruto’s visit to the church.

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