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OPINION: Pain of single mothers when their kids ask why there is no man in the house

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BY ANONYMOUS

I have been a single mom for almost eight years now and I guess, like many other single mothers the greatest challenge is finances and the countless questions from the children.

Just last week, my eight year old whom I was pregnant for when I left, asked me:

“Mum, supposing I have a father right now, what will you call him? Will he be your brother? Will he be like any other father in the estate?”

Of course this question got me thinking hard.

My older child knows what a father is, although the memories he has of him are mostly about how violent and abusive he was.

But this other younger child knows nothing about a father.

From the questions, he does not know anything at all. He has seen other children hanging out with their fathers, he has seen fathers queuing in hospital pews with their children.

He has silently observed children talk about their fathers. But he does not know one.

NO MAN

There is no man in their house.

To be honest, what pains me the most is the imagination that my children are sometimes envious of other people’s fathers.

And so, this got me thinking; maybe it is time I started dating.

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You see, since the father of my kids and I parted, I have dreaded relationships.

I dread my children’s reaction to me dating. I fear they will judge me, and so, I have had dates with men without them meeting my children or appearing at my house.

Most of the times though, these were just men who wanted to take advantage of me. They wanted sex only and not the responsibility of a relationship.

The closest I have come to a serious man is a widower I once dated. This one wanted us to get married after four months.

He was still hurting after losing his wife. He wanted someone to be the mother of his two children. But I was in no hurry.

I wanted someone who loves me for who I was, and not someone who needed me for convenience. I did not feel this particular man was genuinely in love with me.

ACCEPTANCE

Of course, my inboxes are full of ‘interested’ men. But how many of them are going to date me without making me feel like he is doing me a favour?

How many of them will accept the children and treat them like their own?

I have contemplated a serious relationship several times. I have become too lonely several times and I have wondered about my children’s future.

READ ALSO:   VIDEO: Young girl rebukes her mother for being "a loud-mouth" and gossip monger

So now, my eldest son is heading to Form One in a boarding school and I plan to send my other child to a boarding school next year too.

Maybe it is time I gave me a chance to date once more.

Because I cannot continue being this lonely for the rest of my life. It is killing me. We all need some TLC. No?

Source: nation.co.ke

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Lifestyle

Othuol Othuol’s final journey commences at KNT

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The late comedian Ben Maurice Onyango alias Othuol Othuol, who passed on while receiving treatment at Kenyatta National Hospital (KNH), will be laid to rest on Saturday at Got Gaga village, Ndere in Alego, Siaya County.

Comedians In Kenya Society chairman Ken Waudo said the hearse carrying the late Churchill Show rib cracker left Chiromo Mortuary on Friday morning for its first stopover at the Kenya National Theatre (KNT) Tree Yard for the first funeral service.

The funeral service, Waudo said, is being held while strictly observing Covid-19 restrictions before the body commences the journey to his Siaya final resting place.

“We would like to thank all friends, family and fans who stood with us, as well as all the entertainment fraternity, more so comedians, with a special mention to Churchill and Jalang’o for their immense support and being on the frontline to mourn greatly our colleague. Also political leaders who came in handy,” said Waudo.

On Wednesday evening, Kenyan comedians held a candlelit vigil at KNT for the late comedian led by Churchill and Jalang’o and which also acted as a fundraiser.

The comedians were also joined by a section of celebrities from different sectors as well as the fallen comedian’s fans as they also sought to offset his burial expenses.

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According to Waudo, the funeral committee had put a budget of Sh1 million to cater for all the burial expenses and to offset Othuol’s debts.

The comedian died at the age of 31.

BY NN

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Education

Mwangi Mukami: Kenyan man who scored D+ in KCSE earns his 5th degree in US

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Mwangi Mukami has shared his inspirational story on how he had achieved academic success in the United States (US) years after he was considered a failure by the Kenyan education system.

Mukami scored a D+ in his Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education (KCSE) exams and had no chance of joining any institution of higher learning in the country.

Sharing his story on his Facebook page, he said an opportunity to leave the country for the US restored his dreams of attaining a college or university education.

“Over 20 years ago, Kenya’s education system wrote me off as a failure because I had a D+,” he narrated.

“I remember vividly saying to my peers that I wanted to be a policymaker or an attorney. Their response was a burst of collective laughter and sneer,” he added.

Focused on his goal, Mukami did not waste any time when he arrived in the US. He immediately went back to school to pursue his dreams.

Now aged 36, the young man has recently graduated with his fifth degree from the University of California and hopes he will live long to open doors of opportunities to more D+ students.

Mwangi Mukami: Kenyan man who scored D+ in KCSE earns his 5th degree in US

Mwangi Mukami with his mother during a graduation ceremony. Photo: Mwangi Mukami.
Source: Facebook

“For the misfits, the rejected, and the oppressed,” he said.

He attributed his success to his mother who raised him and his six siblings single-handedly while selling unspecified things at the Kawangware market.

“Congratulations to my mom. The degree is a reflection of her tenacity. I am grateful and honoured to have wonderful brothers and sisters who support and trust my ability to achieve,” he added.

He further noted that he proudly uses his mother’s middle name – Mukami- as his surname because she was his hero

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According to Mukami, his mother sacrificed a lot to ensure they got a decent education, had food to eat even during difficult situations and that they had the nest childhood.

Mukami said whatever they lacked in material wealth was compensated by what they possessed in spiritual, mental, and emotional health.

“I was raised in a ten by twelve foot house by a woman who believed I could change the world. And I am still changing the world,” he said.

The 36-year-old went on to reveal that for three years now, he had been providing scholarships and relief grants to children in Kawangware and most recently, in Kibera and Mathare.

TUKO.co.ke previously reported of a young medic who defied all odds to achieve her dream careers just to prove wrong a family friend who discouraged her from studying.

Ifeyinwa Ezeudu is a medical doctor, pharmacists, science laboratory technician, weight management coach, nutrition and lifestyle coach.

Ezeudu said she was discouraged from pursuing her career choices because she was a Muslim girl.

by Tuko.co.ke

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Business

UoN masters degree finalist who sells eggs appeals for a job

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A jobless graduate who’s finalising his masters degree is appealing for well-wishers to give him a job. Dennis Obiri Ogola from Ndumbuini in Kabete sells boiled eggs despite having a diploma, degree and is set to complete his master’s programme in early 2021.

“I’m currently doing my masters and I’m in my last semester of the coursework. I have a diploma in Procurement and Supply Chain Management from the Kenya Institute of Management and a Bachelor of Commerce degree (Procurement and Supply Chain Management option) from the University of Nairobi,” says Dennis.

Humble background, hawking eggs, rent arrears

The soft-spoken Dennis hails from a humble background and is the firstborn in a family of six children. Wellwishers enabled him to pursue his studies and he dreams of helping his younger siblings get a good education.

“I was helped by a children’s home to complete my primary school education. I joined high school in the same children’s home and because of my good manners, they offered to further my education. I did my diploma and after scoring a second class (upper division) in my degree, I got sponsors for the Master of Business Administration (MBA) programme at UoN,” he says.

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READ ALSO:   Kenyan woman cons well wishers of Sh18 million by making false cancer claims

Dennis got into the eggs business after another well-wisher was touched by his plight and gave him the startup capital even though the proceeds scarcely meets his needs. On a good day, he makes Sh300 profit which he reinvests in the business, leaving him with peanuts to live off.

“I have some rent arrears but I spoke to the landlord and he’s understanding- but at the end of the day, he wants money.” Photo: Courtesy.

 “After hearing of my situation, an empathetic Human Resource practitioner in a financial institution gave me capital to start this business selling eggs and smokies. In a day, I sell a tray of boiled eggs at Sh600 (Sh20 per egg), making a Sh300 profit. I spend Sh300 on eggs for the next day and use some of the remaining money buy saviets, onions and tomatoes for kachumbari , wrapping papers and tomato sauce. The remainder of the money cannot pay my rent. I have some rent arrears but I spoke to the landlord and he’s understanding- but at the end of the day, he wants money,” he says.

“The far I’ve reached, it’s taken a lot of patience and perseverance. I would like to appeal to anyone with a job to offer me the opportunity. I dream of at least helping my siblings,” concludes Dennis, who has over ten certificates.

You can reach Dennis on 0705446010.

by SDE

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