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City mum narrates her battle with depression after birth of triplets

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Rebecca Musyoki was 26 years old and a HR intern when she found out that she was pregnant.

She was terrified of letting her parents down. Then the worst happened – the man she was dating went quiet on her. At one point, she even got suicidal.

The first time Rebecca heard two heartbeats on her first prenatal scan, she broke down in tears. They were a confirmation that she was carrying not one but two children.

While this would ordinarily have been great news, she was 26 and a human resources intern. She was still living with her parents. How was she going to raise two children?

Up until this point, Rebecca’s life had gone according to plan. She had done well in high school, taken a diploma in law and then another in human resource.

She was also in a relationship with a man she had met at church. None of this, however, prepared her for the task at hand.

“I remember the day my life changed. It had been a normal day at work until I bought food and lunch. From the taste, I thought the food was stale and made a lot of noise.

It was my friend who suggested that I take the pregnancy test which altered the course of my life,” she recalls.

Finding out that she was pregnant was terrifying. She was terrified of letting her parents down. But you can only hide a pregnancy for so long. When she was three months pregnant, she decided it was time.

“I decided to do it at breakfast. I just came on out and told my mother I was pregnant,” she recalls.

Her mother was disappointed. Then came the questions, who was the father? How was he handling it? What was his plan?

Rebecca told her the truth. Her mother knew the man that she was in a relationship with. “My mother then hugged me, she told me that she loved me and reassured me that we would go through this together.”

At this point, the man she was dating seemed like he was up for the idea. Even after Rebecca found out that she was carrying twins and called him crying. He calmed her down. And told her that this was a blessing in disguise.

Then somewhere along the way, around her fourth month of pregnancy, he appeared to have a change of heart.

“He just went quiet on me one day. When I called him to find out why, he told me that he needed us to do a DNA test. His saying this hurt as if someone had pierced through my heart with a sword. Still, I was ready to do the test.”

Determined not to be a part of Rebecca’s life, her now ex-boyfriend told anybody that would listen that the children she was carrying were not his.

“He even wrote a letter to my parents telling them the same thing. It was painful. Very painful,” she narrates, holding back tears.

And she was in this state, hurt, rejected, stressed and anxious when she found out at her 20-week anomaly scan that the children in her belly were not two but three.

The sonographer tried showing her the three sets of spinal cords, but she wouldn’t look. It was too much. This time, she called her mother who reassured her that all would be well.

She soldiered on. Her triplets – Joshua, Joab and Joel – were born on January 23, 2012 through caesarean section after her month-long stay at the hospital.

A day after she was discharged with her children, she was readmitted with a hole in her intestine which occurred during the caesarean section.

“For weeks, my life was a blur. If I was not breastfeeding, I was changing diapers or bathing them. I hardly had time to rest,” she recalls.

Most of the time she was stressed. At one point, she admits, she hated being a mother. It was tough. The hardest part was when one of the boys, Joab, was diagnosed with hypospadias, a congenital condition which needed six surgeries to fix.

He had the first one when he was just three months old. “This was my lowest moment. We would cry together,” she recalls.

No one around her knew that she was struggling with post-partum depression. To make the situation worse, she and her ex-boyfriend finally had the children DNA tested when they were a year old.

They were proven to be his. He still didn’t take responsibility. It was tough being everything for her children.

“I would get very agitated especially when the children cried. No one understood why. I was expected to be happy, grateful. At one point, I even got suicidal. I just wanted to get away from all of it.”

Things began looking up when she finally got a job at a local university when the triplets were two and a half years old. Once she began fending for herself, the depression slowly wore off.

Even with a stable job, being a solo mum of three children all the same age hasn’t been easy. Even when it gets tough, she does what she has to do.

“I want my children to have a good life, and I want to be the best mum I can be to them. This is why I went back to school to get my degree,” she says.

Eventually, she was able to find The multiples to multiples society, a local support group for parents of multiple births, where she has been able to interact and get psychosocial support from other parents of multiples.

“From here, things can only get better,” she smiles.

source:nation.co.ke

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News

The interviewee who hated me

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BY CAROLINE NGINA

6 years ago a guy looked at me face to face, and boldly told me; “I don’t like you!”

I immediately fired a response, I asked him that day; “Thank you for the honest feedback, but those that you like, how has it made their life better? How does your liking people pay their bills or take a bank loan? My brother keep your like, I need God’s like And that’s what guarantees my future.

Today I joined a CEO friend of mine in an interview Panel to recruit some new staff, it was a long session, as we returned from a coffee break to continue the hectic interview session, here was this same guy walkING in with his grey jacket and CV coming for the interview.

Our eyes kissed by fluke, we immediately recognised each other; “the world is indeed spherical”, I soliloquized.

He felt very uncomfortable through out the interview, one could clearly see the volcanic eruption ongoing in his whole nervous system, he even mistook his date of birth for his last date of employment. It wasn’t yet my turn to ask him questions so I allowed everyone to take their turns with him and deliberately opted to interview him last.

When it got to my turn, the first thing I said was, “I LIKE YOU so much, you look to me like a brilliant and intelligent person, but it seems you are not doing well now because something bothers you, true?”

“That’s very correct Sir!” He responded.

“Ok look at me straight in the eye, I was never offended that day, it is very normal that sometimes as humans you just don’t like certain people, but I wasn’t bothered either, because whether you liked me or not, it was inconsequential to my life and my success path – as you can see, fate has brought you to my lair”

I stood up and beckoned him to come and embrace me, everyone on the panel at this point were at sea – wondering if we had expeditiously recast an interview session to a Hollywood movie scene.

He hugged me so long and deeply that I felt it. Then I told him, “now get your confidence back bro and answer the questions like a Pro Shark that you are, we all burst into laughter, everyone suddenly liked him and the room became livelier – the interview became more like a discussion, well to cut the long story short, he got the job!

~ Be careful how you treat people when they appear to be in their vulnerable state, your next level may be hanging in their balance; somewhere in the future.

~ If you dislike someone, it is not their fault, it is YOUR FAULT, work on yourself to find good in people and reinvent your Mind to see everyone as likeable.

~,Don’t spew hatred vocally just because it came into your heart, you may say it to someone who will keep it forever and use it against you when you find yourself in your own low moments and need them.

~ Learn to forgive, overlook people’s dislike and hatred for you, dont punish people just because you have the position and privilege to do so, bless them rather – that’s how you court God’s blessings, favour and protection.
#BestVersionOfYou #prayloveinspire #TransformingNations

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Business

UK retracts travel ban to Kenya hours after issuing it

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The United Kingdom has denied that it had issued a warning to its citizens against the risk of kidnapping in the country following an updated travel advisory on Tuesday.

The UK Ambassador to Kenya Nic Hailey, just hours after the Foreign and Commonwealth Office (FCO) had listed Kenya among the global kidnapping hotspots, said that it was false and not true.

“The UK has not issued a new travel advisory for Kenya. We keep our Travel Advice regularly updated but today’s reports of new warnings or restrictions are false,” said the Ambassador through a tweet.

The UK had in a fresh travel guidance expanded the areas where her citizens should be vigilant for kidnappings to include Kenya’s top conferencing, safari and beach tourism destinations.

“There’s a heightened threat of terrorism, including terrorist kidnappings, across Kenya, including to people travelling in or through Nairobi, the coast and resort areas around Mombasa and Malindi, the towns of Narok, Naivasha, Nanyuki and Meru and their surrounding areas, and the northern border counties,” the FCO statement read.

The advisory lists places frequented by foreigners such as hotels, bars, restaurants, sports bars and nightclubs, sporting events, supermarkets, shopping centres, coastal areas including beaches, airports, buses, trains and other transport hubs as possible areas which could be targeted.

source:Nairobinews

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Entertainment

Two years after getting married, Adele shares dating advice that some Kenyans definitely need

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Kiss FM breakfast show presenter Adelle Onyango has been married for two years now after walking down the aisle with Falgun Bhojakis at a secret wedding at Redhill heights, Limuru.

So far, she has learned a lot about marriage. It’s not a bed of rose flower but it can be as soft and green as grass if you are dedicated and tender to it.

Desperation

Adele recently shared how people should fall in love saying that no one should be desperate when looking for love.

“When you keep looking for love you will find the wrong people but when you’re alone just in your own space like going to the gym, yoga, love will find you there. join a group for cyclists and cycle in Karura” said Adele.  

Well, it’s a simple advice that will probably will work.

source:Ghafla

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