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My wife is disrespectful, controlling and won’t go to church

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My wife and I are about the same age. We’ve been married for two years, within which she has become very disrespectful of me, and does not care how I feel about it. I’ve resisted her desire to control me, a factor that has led to many unresolved issues in our relationship. She thinks only about herself. I feel somehow trapped in this marriage because of my Christian faith and my son. We can’t agree on anything, so we basically quarrel about everything. She has stopped going to church and spends her time watching TV at home. She has shut herself from people at church who would have helped us. There is really nothing left to fight for in this relationship.

Hi there,

A loving relationship is founded on mutual support. Such support encompasses values like honouring and respecting each other and each other’s views. It is also founded on healthy communication. It’s clear from your email that your marriage lacks the support it needs to thrive.

I, however, don’t think that all is lost. Even though your wife may have hurt you, it’s essential that you open a door of communication so that you can talk about the issues hurting your marriage. When you get this chance, don’t just talk about the hurt and disappointment, also talk about the successes and happy moments you have had to remind yourselves of the possibilities.

You may need to probe your relationship from several angles: First, did your wife show these signs albeit in a small way before you married or early in the marriage? I’m of the conviction that she could have shown some signs of a controlling nature and it could be that you either did not notice these signs, or you ignored them.

Second, could something have happened early in the marriage that triggered her shut-down? For her to cut off everyone in church, particularly those who could help is worrying. Your assurance and acceptance of her, rather than taking a hardline approach could help her open up.

The two of you also need to revisit how you met, how you view each other, and how the evolution of issues affecting your marriage came about. For example, how you view each other will affect how you receive teach other’s input into what is affecting your relationship.

In turn, how a couple views each other reveals whether they are willing to validate and affirm each other. The gap that exists between you and your wife now is testimony of a sour relationship and lack of mutual support. A decision to see your wife with the same eyes God sees you with could help tone down the animosity you feel toward her.

Source:Nation.co.ke

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News

Sifuna blasts Ruto for his ‘unnecessary noise’ over Jubilee’s big loss in Kibra

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ODM Secretary General Edwin Sifuna has taken a swipe at Deputy President William Ruto’s sudden tantrums on social media, following the party’s victory in the Kibra by-election.

Sifuna accused the DP for making unnecessary noise and show of emotions on his current online posts which appear to be targeting the opposition.

RUTO’S ANGER

His summation is that Dr Ruto is just venting his anger – which he should stop – over spending money on the campaign of the Jubilee candidate McDonald Mariga who came in second in the elections.

“Hii hasira yote ya @williamsRuto ni juu watu walikula pesa yake. Nilisema hapa Nairobi ma yengs hukula pesa zetu na hatusumbuani hata after Jonte flani kupewa vitu. Inauma but inabidi uzoee. At this rate tutatoa Paybill number turudishie huyu jamaa pesa yake aache kulialia,” Sifuna tweeted.

ONLINE REACTION

After Jubilee Party’s defeat in Kibra, the DP congratulated ODM’s Bernard Okoth for the win but he also pointed out his party’s major gains in the substantial votes it garnered in an area perceived to be Raila Odinga’s stronghold.

In a separate tweet, he claimed that ODM only emerged victorious in Kibra because of an organised militia and violence sponsored by the Odinga-led party.

Sifuna’s post attracted varied comments from Kenyans on Twitter.

“Unasema Ulliam alituma Fare na hakupata results,” said @MykAngaya.

“Is this your handwriting bwana SG, ama Babu Owino anacheza na simu yako,” wrote @Fridah_ritah.

“Just wait for it bwana SG utashangaa na hii borrowed power mnajichocha nayo!” commented @pauliddial.

“But maringa (sic) coz amezoea kubet zikichomeka yeye alikubali kushindwa ata before zikue announced nashangaa hii rende ingine rada yao ni gani?” asked @Martinmusyok.

“That is enough Twitter for me hadi next week niitwe paybill number ikicome through,” said @gygyblidge.

“Mlisema kiendacho kwa mganga……?” asked @MissAntre.

By NN

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Diaspora

DIASPORA HUSTLES: How a sofa I had taken from a dumpster in US earned me a date with a cop

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BY BOB MWITI

Life in America can be very humbling, especially when you are starting off.

After I graduated with my master’s degree here in America, I rented a studio apartment in one of the not-so-nice neighborhood in Philadelphia. During the day, I would help the caretaker with some cleaning of the common areas of the building and also in doing some repairs and paintwork. For that work, I would get something at the end of the week, enough to keep me going.

My studio abode was on the 5th floor of this old crammed building that sat next to a railway line. Down at the back side of the building lay the dumpster where all kind of “valuables” such as old TVs, music systems, mattresses, etc would be tossed…sometimes all the way from the top floor by the crazy residents.

During my cleaning duties, I would make sure that all of the mess around the dumpster was taken care of.

One day, during my usual duties, I found this unbelievably good used couch that I immediately thought would be a good addition to my studio which had nothing other than a mattress, no bed and only 2 pots and a plate!..My God of heaven & earth had answered my prayers!…and the Devil of poverty was on the cusp of defeat.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

It was a gigantic couch and I urgently needed some help to take it all the way up to the 5th floor. I awkwardly reached out to a resident I had made friends with, and we went on a mission to take it all the way up!…with a promise of getting him a case of budlight beer! The trip up to the 5th floor took an eternity….we were all soaked in sweat.

Now, this is why they say the devil is a liar!!!.😂😂😂…What I didn’t know was that after all the hard work of pushing it all the way up, the stupid thing would never fit into my little door to my studio….😭😭😭😭….Tried endlessly until the guy gave up and left . I had no choice but to leave the damn thing on the hall way!!!..Well, the next day the caretaker and a cop were knocking on my door seeking an explanation as to why I was blocking the hallway!

Such is the life most of us immigrants go through when we first come to America.It’s not easy but with time things surely improve.

If you are out there wishing to come to USA to study or wishing to become a well paid IT consultant in America, head over to www.appstecamerica.com and check out my company’s amazing STUDY IN USA and IT TRAINING programs.

 

About me,

I am a former international student in USA and I am a senior IT consultant in the areas of Oracle EBS and Robotics Process Automation.I am the programs director of Appstec America – A consulting company based in Tampa, Florida,USA.

 

My contacts:

success@successwithbobmwiti.com

info@appstecamerica.com

+1 813-573-5619 ext 402

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Immigration News

US Publishes strict guidelines for immigrants who come in as Sheep/Goat Herders

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U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services today published a policy memorandum (PM) that requires requests for temporary foreign workers for range sheep or goat herding or production be subject to the same requirements as other temporary agricultural workers.

USCIS is issuing this PM to ensure that H-2A nonimmigrant sheep/goat herders may only fill temporary and/or seasonal herder positions, and that petitioners filing petitions for permanent sheep/goat herders comply with the requirements applicable to permanent positions.

Under the PM, H-2A sheep/goat herder petitions will be subject to the same temporary or seasonal need analysis that applies to all other H-2A petitions, and petitions seeking to hire H-2A sheep/goat herders for 364-day back-to-back periods (or similarly lengthy, consecutive periods for the same job duties for a sheep/goat herder position) with no material or meaningful break between them will not be approved if the petitioner cannot prove it has a temporary or seasonal need for the workers. This PM will ensure that USCIS consistently applies H-2A regulations on temporariness and seasonality to H-2A sheep/goat herder petitions, and that the wages and working conditions of similarly situated U.S. workers are not depressed by the employment of H-2A temporary workers.

This PM will assist in safeguarding the integrity of the H-2A program, which was intended for agricultural labor or services that are temporary or seasonal in nature. Adjudicating the temporariness and seasonality of H-2A sheep/goat herder petitions with the same criteria as other H-2A petitions will also support consistency and fairness while protecting the interests of U.S. workers (for example, their wages and job opportunities). The PM is not intended to alter current policy or practice for the adjudication of non-sheep herding or goat herding H-2A petitions, but to ensure that USCIS adjudicates all H-2A sheep/goat herder petitions on a case-by-case basis, considering the totality of the facts presented, and in the same manner as all other H-2A petitions, consistent with the Immigration and Nationality Act (INA) and existing regulations.

Effective June 1, 2020, USCIS will adjudicate any Form I-129, Petition for Nonimmigrant Worker, filed by petitioners seeking H-2A sheep/goat herder positions in line with this PM. USCIS believes the future effective date allows H-2A petitioners to amend their practices, as necessary.

This PM is being issued in response to a lawsuit brought by worker advocates challenging USCIS adjudications of H-2A sheep herding and goat herding petitions and the D.C. Circuit’s order in that case. Hispanic Affairs Project v. Acosta, 901 F.3d 378, 386 (D.C. Cir. 2018). USCIS agrees with the order and interprets the D.C. Circuit Court’s opinion as indicating that consecutive, back-to-back 364-day approvals of H-2A sheep/goat herder petitions (or similarly lengthy, consecutive periods for the same job duties for a sheep/goat herder position) with no material or meaningful break between them would violate the INA and Department of Homeland Security regulations, absent a petitioner establishing that its need is in fact seasonal or temporary.

USCIS welcomes comments on the PM, the proposed effective date, potential cost savings or increases, impacts on filing practices, and other topics that are the focus of this PM via the Policy Memoranda for Comment page. USCIS will review and consider all comments received during the 30-day comment period from Nov. 14 to Dec. 14, 2019, and may subsequently publish a revised PM, as needed. The guidance contained in the PM will be controlling and will supersede any prior guidance regarding the determination of temporary or seasonal need for H-2A sheep and goat herder petitions.

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