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My wife is disrespectful, controlling and won’t go to church

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My wife and I are about the same age. We’ve been married for two years, within which she has become very disrespectful of me, and does not care how I feel about it. I’ve resisted her desire to control me, a factor that has led to many unresolved issues in our relationship. She thinks only about herself. I feel somehow trapped in this marriage because of my Christian faith and my son. We can’t agree on anything, so we basically quarrel about everything. She has stopped going to church and spends her time watching TV at home. She has shut herself from people at church who would have helped us. There is really nothing left to fight for in this relationship.

Hi there,

A loving relationship is founded on mutual support. Such support encompasses values like honouring and respecting each other and each other’s views. It is also founded on healthy communication. It’s clear from your email that your marriage lacks the support it needs to thrive.

I, however, don’t think that all is lost. Even though your wife may have hurt you, it’s essential that you open a door of communication so that you can talk about the issues hurting your marriage. When you get this chance, don’t just talk about the hurt and disappointment, also talk about the successes and happy moments you have had to remind yourselves of the possibilities.

You may need to probe your relationship from several angles: First, did your wife show these signs albeit in a small way before you married or early in the marriage? I’m of the conviction that she could have shown some signs of a controlling nature and it could be that you either did not notice these signs, or you ignored them.

Second, could something have happened early in the marriage that triggered her shut-down? For her to cut off everyone in church, particularly those who could help is worrying. Your assurance and acceptance of her, rather than taking a hardline approach could help her open up.

The two of you also need to revisit how you met, how you view each other, and how the evolution of issues affecting your marriage came about. For example, how you view each other will affect how you receive teach other’s input into what is affecting your relationship.

In turn, how a couple views each other reveals whether they are willing to validate and affirm each other. The gap that exists between you and your wife now is testimony of a sour relationship and lack of mutual support. A decision to see your wife with the same eyes God sees you with could help tone down the animosity you feel toward her.

Source:Nation.co.ke

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News

Activist wins transgender battle

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Transgender activist Audrey Ithibu Mbugua has won a battle against the Kenya National Examinations Council after the Appellate court upheld a decision compelling them to change her academic certificates to reflect ‘her’ new identity.

The Court of Appeal said they were not persuaded by Knec to overturn the High Court’s decision, which ruled in Audrey’s favour.

“All in all, we are not persuaded that the appellant has established a basis for this court to interfere with the decision of the lower court,” Justices Philip Waki, Gatembu Kairu and Otieno Odek ruled.

CULTURAL REALITIES

The judges dismissed the claim that Justice Weldon Korir had waded into the policy and legislative arena and ignored cultural realities of the society.

The judges said there is, of course, need for the government, and Parliament in particular, to address in a holistic manner the interests of minorities such as transgender persons.

However, such minorities cannot wait until there is a policy and legislative framework in place, to get recourse to secure their dignity guaranteed under the Constitution.

Audrey, formally known as Andrew Ithibu Mbugua, was born and raised as a male. As Andrew, he attended Kiambu High, a boys’ school, where he sat his KCSE in 2001 and scored a mean grade of A- (minus).

Like other certificates, Ms Mbugua’s was inscribed with the mark, M, signifying the male gender.

And since October 2008, Audrey has received medical treatment at Mathare hospital for gender identity disorder and depression.

GENDER IDENTITY DISORDER

Dr Catherine Syengo Mutisya, the deputy medical superintendent Mathare, stated that Audrey had gender identity disorder (trans-sexual) and had already began the medical transition.

Dr Mutisya said Ms Mbugua is still distressed by the challenge she is encountering as a result of her condition and faces a lot of stigma as a result of having her certificates and identification documents referring to her as male even though she has partly transitioned to female.

In January 2012, by gazette notice Ms Mbugua published by a deed poll, she renounced the name Andrew and assumed ‘Audrey Ithibu Mbugua’.

She then wrote to Knec requesting to effect the changes in her certificate. The council at first appeared to agree but later dismissed her request, forcing Ms Mbugua to move to court.

Justice Korir ruled in her favour but Knec appealed, arguing that the certificate was issued in accordance with the registration particulars “under which he registered for the examination”.

Knec further doubted that the gender transition Ms Mbugua claimed to have been undergoing was sanctioned by law and that there is no requirement in law for it to effect a name change.

By nation.co.ke

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Entertainment

Billionaire Manu Chandaria spends Sh 3,900 for his wedding as “Mrs Bonfire” sparks an online storm with her comments

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Bonfire Adventures co-founder Sarah Kabu has urged couples not to shy away from asking for financial help from relatives and friends for their dream weddings.

Sarah was adding her voice to the ongoing debate on flashy weddings after billionaire Manu Chandaria wedded his wife of 64 years at the Attorney General’s office at a low key ceremony that cost Sh 3,900.

“I’m here to encourage the young couples not to shy to ask for mchango; those who don’t want to changa dont attend people’s weddings they are expensive… even Jesus changad for a wedding by donation of his miracle to turn water into wines… weddings are meant to be a merry making event watu waonje Mali yako… life is not that serious jameni,” Sarah posted on her Instagram page

Most of her fans did not agree with her sentiments

“Me for today I don’t agree with you,for youngs..wedding is a one day function & marriage is a forever thing,if a person cant afford the big weddings we got the AG,chief..Never spend what you cant afford especially in wed A BIG LIFE MISTAKE,do a simple wed & live without stress, si kufanya wed watu waje wale & leave you with life loans,” commented mwauraeliud

Mr Manu Chandaria (Left) with his wife. FILE PHOTO)

Kaystyne posted; “That’s an unfortunate comment, you don’t tell the youth to try emulate his philanthropic endeavours?! But you want to call him mean for having a low key ceremony for HIS wedding? How now?”

Phylliskariuki said; “Everybody should live their lives the way they deem fit. Big wedding, good for you, small wedding good for you too. Let’s not impose on others.”

“Let everyone do what is best for them. I admire this couple. They have spent decades together, why spend millions on a formality? Where I come from, if you dare ask for contributions for your wedding, you may end up not marrying, as people believe you have to be financially ready before you take that step,” posted sunshinebalogun .

“Sarah please let people be, be! To each their own. Stop giving wrong advice. Big weddings are good if you can afford, small weddings are good, no weddings are good. To each their own lady Sarah,” commented w.a.m.z.y.

Walleroliver added, “ Why poke nose to someone’s wedding ,you haven’t contributed anything to his life, you can do a party on his behalf then call us to come and eat ,i am sure those who are hungry will come.”

-Nairobinews

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Business

VIDEOS: Boston, Massachusetts residents are all smiles courtesy of Optiven

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Optiven Group just hosted its Boston customers for sumptuous dinner and a one-on-one meeting. What’s more? Courtesy of this event, several Bostonians are now owners of land that is 100% transformed, meaning they are now proud owners of land that has all facilities including children park, a jogging track, water, trees and secure gated communities.

See more: https://www.optiven.co.ke/diaspora/usa2019

These happy clients can now embark on a journey of building homes and for those who are already building, they will enjoy the new innovative project, where Optiven through its sister company PMC Estates (www.pmcestates.co.ke) will get all our clients a good tenant, maintain their houses and collect and deposit Money in their accounts or wire the rent to their USA accounts.

A number of customers in the USA & Europe are already benefiting courtesy of this new service with no risk of being shortchanged by a dishonest relative.

The Optiven team, which is led by George Muteti and Steve Mbugua, who are both Senior Managers, are available for online support as they celebrate those they presented the ownership documents at Boston. They were in Virginia, Maryland Missouri and now in Boston, Massachusetts as they head to Seattle in Washington State later this week.

We at Optiven celebrate all those customers whose titles were delivered to their doorstep and we commit to also deliver to those others who are still paying for their properties on installments. These installments have enabled many Kenyans in diaspora to own properties with Optiven Group. Most of who have purchase Victory Gardens and are very happy.
Youtube: https://youtu.be/gdu935WbGcI

Others customers have bought Garden of Joy, a very strategic property that is ready for settlement. Youtube: https://youtu.be/X97lzyZ3M8Y

Still, other customers have bought Nyeri project (Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXqUvYSSZ9s)

While others have bought Shekinah Gardens: https://www.optiven.co.ke/properties/shekinahgardens

Thika Royal palms https://www.thikaroyalpalms.com/ and Amani Ridge-The place of Peace

https://www.optiven.co.ke/component/allvideoshare/video/amaniridgeplaceofpeacekiambu?Itemid=665

We congratulate the hundreds of diaspora clients who have bought and joined our 10, 000 plus customers, whom we have empowered over the last 20 years. You are now part of the great Optiven movement.

We now encourage you to join the movement as we push our vision to Economically and Socially empowering and transforming the world.

Call us now:
540 214 4376

443 734 2465

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