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Why public proposals aren’t so cute after all

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Police arrests, bikers’ mob, Airport arrival… they’re not shooting _ a movie or video. It’s a marriage proposal. Hopeful grooms, it seems are increasingly willing to put in time, effort and money to impress their significant others. But just how many of these brides-to be fancy the idea of a public proposal?

Coercive? “It all depends with your partner. In my case, I had sort of given up on my bae proposing. So yes, it was quite a surprise. In fact, of all things he’s ever tried surprising me with, this was an all-time win. Since he knew me too well, it was clear that the idea of a public proposal would work for me,” Chebby Milly says.

Colluding with his friends and her family, her Prince Charming Terence Creative, brought Kimathi Street to a standstill. You see, Milly was accosted by about 20 askaris and while trying to sort the matter out, a group of friends pulled up with placards reading ‘Will You Marry Me.’ He then got down on one knee holding an engagement ring and asked for her hand in marriage.

She acknowledged her boo’s creativity. “He has an impeccable taste and creativity… I said yes… those policemen wawawa… Kimathi street was blocked, Nation Centre was at standstill. I felt loved,” she adds. She, however, insists public proposals would not work on everyone. “If your partner isn’t so much of an outgoing social person, then this would definitely not sit well with them,” she says.

Ulterior motive?

It didn’t work for Karen Nzioka. She had been admitted to the bar and had a congratulatory party. Family and friends including her boyfriend had been invited. Although they had issues threatening to press the kill switch in their relationship, she still felt that he needed to be there.

As the boyfriend everyone knew including family, he was called to give his congratulatory speech. He talked, and talked then he called her up. She joined him. Down, he went on his knee. A question dropped from his mouth. “Will you marry me?” he asked. All at the party: Father, mother, grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins, friends and enemies looked. It was Karen who spoke next. She said ‘No’. You see he had caught his girlfriend with another man, few weeks before. And now he was proposing? Anyone would read either malice or complete desperation and manipulation in this, no?

But how can you say ‘no’ when dozens, or hundreds, or thousands of people are eager for you to say ‘yes’? “Unless you have already agreed to get married and a proposal is just icing on the cake, public marriage proposals are almost always a form of manipulation,” says Syaviha Mulengya promoter of peace in marriage.

Syaviha Mulengya, relationship counsellor.

“If you know that proposing at her graduation party or your friend’s wedding or at a restaurant would add too much pressure to her, then you must not ask her in that way,” he says. “And if you’re happy knowing you are essentially coercing your partner into saying yes, then you need to reassess your life and step back from the relationship altogether until you have fully understood the point of mutual respect,” he adds.

Be on the same page

But if you’re interested in proposing in public, what should you do? “It’s a personal decision based on the couple,” says Sammy Baya, relationship counsellor and expert in marriage.

“First, you better be absolutely sure your partner wants to marry you before you ask in public. Make sure your partner is okay with public attention. If this person is really introverted, private, doesn’t like attention, it’s probably not a good idea,” sociologist Jackline Wamunyu says. “Doing it in public is always a bigger risk. If you want to go the safe, conservative route and make sure all of the attention stays on her, do it in private,” she adds.

Jackline Wamunyu, practising sociologist

But some people may say “yes” in public, but then reconsider their decision later. Wamunyu advises people being proposed to in front of an audience to be honest and not get distracted by everyone looking on. “Don’t ever get pressured into marrying somebody because you might end up looking bad in front of everyone else. If this is not the right person, say ‘no’. It’s okay,” she says.

So what do you do if she says ‘no’. “Well, It might be that turning down the proposal means that you will break up, so you should be prepared for this possibility. However, it may be that your partner wants to stay with you, but does not want to marry you (yet). In this case, it’s time to dig into the details,” Wamunyu says.

BY PD, CATHERINE NJIRU

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Tears as Naivasha children buried

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Four children reportedly killed by their mother in Naivasha last Friday have been buried in an emotional send-off in Kinangop, Nyandarua County.

Those who attended the two-hour ceremony on Thursday could not hold back their tears as the caskets bearing the remains were removed from a hearse.

As the mahogany caskets were being lined up, forlorn looking locals followed the proceedings in obvious emotional turmoil.

The magnitude of the heinous killing was put into the open as villagers from the sleepy Murungaru village broke the Covid-19 protocols to attend the funeral ceremony in their numbers.

Administrators present were forced to work overtime to ensure social distancing, with the numbers continually swelling.

SPEAK OUT

During the funeral service, church leaders called on people undergoing stressful moments to speak out.

“They should reach out to their friends and relatives and pour their hearts out. The pandemic has affected the social setup but people should open up,” said Kenya Assemblies of God cleric Francis Kamau Mwaura.

The church leader admitted that the disease has taken toll on the population, voicing the need for people to bear the happenings with fortitude.

“Families are going through tough times but those affected should not suffer in silence,” added Mr Mwaura.

SOCIAL MEDIA

The family was also incensed by social media users, with their spokesman, Macharia Kimotho, tearing at them for disrespecting them.

“Some of the online users even posted the picture of the dead children. It was unethical, uncalled for and openly disgusting,” he said

“It was the least we expected. It the high time that content on the social media is regulated,” added Mr Kimotho.

He defended the family, saying their sister who is linked to the killings, was at no point neglected.

“Some of the people are saying that she did not have food. The foodstuff in her house was enough to last her for months,” pointed out Mr Kimotho.

He accused the social media users of causing the family “irreparable damage,” by some of their postings, but was quick to add that they had forgiven their tormentors.

As the four bodies were being lowered to their final resting place, tears flowed freely, screams rent their air with a number of mourners fainting.

The children were finally laid to rest at around 1.15pm.

By Nation.co.ke

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Babu sio mtu mbaya! DJ Evolve’s father defends MP Babu Owino

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BY KEVIN KOECH

John Orinda, father of Felix Orinda, alias DJ Evolve has addressed claims that Embakasi East MP Babu Owino had not been supporting his son.

On Thursday, Orinda stated that Babu Owino has been communicating with the family after the the shooting incident that took place in January, this year.

He clarified that the legislator has been catering for the medical expenses incurred during his son’s home treatment.

“Vile aliingia kwa nyumba naona iko improvement na iko dawa analetewa, yule anayeleta hizo dawa ni Babu Owino (Since he came home I have noted some improvement and he’s being brought medicine, and the person bringing the medicine is Babu Owino),” Orinda stated.

“Nurses wako naye mchana na usiku na hao pia ni Babu Owino aliprovide. Naona kama Babu Owino si mtu mbaya sana ingawa hatujakutana naye tuongee lakini hajapotea (He has nurses during the day and at night and it’s Babu who provided them. I don’t think Babu is a bad person although I haven’t met him),” he added.

Orinda further stated that though his son is still in immense pain, he remains optimistic that he will gain his full health.

Orinda has on several occasions expressed his gratitude to the MP despite the shooting incident that has left Dj Evolve bedridden.

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KEMRI explains how 2.7 M Kenyans may have COVID-19

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BY KEVIN KOECH

A study conducted by the Kenya Medical Research Institute (KEMRI) and Wellcome Trust had warned that over 2.7 million Kenyans may have COVID-19.

The study was based on 2,535 blood samples tested through blood donations collected from several parts of the country.

KEMRI developed an enzyme-linked immunosorbent assay (ELISA) which focused on spike protein of SARS-CoV-2 which was validated and tested numerously.

The researchers concluded their analysis of how antibodies in blood samples indicate whether one was exposed or not.

Antibodies have the capacity to remain positive for months.

“There is a large gap between the confirmed test cases identified by Rapid Response Teams in testing and tracing, and the numbers of individuals in the population that we believe have been exposed,” an excerpt of the report states.

Nairobi County leads with an estimated 12.4% which translates to approximately 550,000 residents out of 4.5 million.

Rift Valley, Nyanza, Central, Eastern, Western and Coast had 510,000, 490,000, 370,000, 320,000, 220,000 and 200,000 respectively.

The gap being referred to is the difference between the cases recorded and the numbers within the model.

North Eastern did not report any case of Kenyans exposed to the virus, out of 41 blood samples collected.

The report added that Kenyans should be prepared for severe cases of the disease as large numbers of the population exposed would lead models to predict significant numbers of severe cases and deaths.

County hospitals are monitoring for pneumonia which spiked from 137,667 in February 2020 to 195,504 in June 2020.

According to the report, approximately 6,684 deaths will be recorded with 26,093 people suffering from severe diseases.

The study detailed that Kenyans are either not getting severely sickly or are asymptomatic.

It added that the best way of estimating exposure to COVID-19 in Kenya would be to visit randomly selected homesteads to collect and test blood samples.

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