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VIDEO: How working “Doubles” is contributing to high divorce rate among Kenyans in US

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BY BMJ MURIITHI

This week, The Diaspora Life show by Chris Wamalwa takes a look at factors that have led to the rise in divorce cases within the Kenyan diaspora community, especially in the United States.

Many Kenyan couples immigrating to the United States appear to be overwhelmed as they grapple with marital and family issues often occasioned by the new environment, leading to separation or even bitter divorces.

One issue that seems to stick out like a sore thumb and comes up in many conversations is the “urge to make as much money as possible which makes Kenyans ‘forget’ that hey have families.”

This, according to experts, cuts both ways, as both men and women are guilty as charged.

“Many work double or even triple shifts and are hardly at home even when needed the most,” says an observant Kenyan based in Baltimore, Maryland.

“It is not uncommon to find couples who are literally “separated” by their work schedules. Some, in states like Massachusetts, work in live-ins, sometimes “abandoning” their spouses for months on end…all in the name of money,” he told Kenya Satellite News Network.

“I think this also has something to do with shattered expectations when they were setting out to come to the US. Many think getting money here is easy…only to land and be confronted by the bitter truth that “dollars do not grow on trees and you have to work very hard to survive,” he added.

READ ALSO:   VIDEO: It’s a living hell for Kenyans flying back from overseas

According to Bishop Paul Kiilu of Gospel Lighthouse Ministry in Newark, Delaware, working many different shifts has greatly contributed to the rise of divorce cases among Kenyans in the US.

“You will find that many couples don’t spend time together as either the man or the woman is away looking the money, and the two only meet on the way in or out of the house. This is very common,” he says.

“Many African women often accept this as their destined way of life until they come to the United States where women have more rights and privileges and then they begin to be assertive thereby upsetting their existing family orders,” says Bishop Kiilu.

Ms Maggie Marikah Kwabena, an Atlanta based Kenyan says the situation is worrying.

“On a scale of 1 to 10, I would say the rate of divorce among the Kenyans in US is at 6,” she says.

” I blame the American system for the high divorce rate. Couples have to work so hard to earn a living. You barely have time for your spouse…and for those couples with children, the don’t have time for them either,” she told journalist Chris Wamalwa in Atlanta. Watch the show below courtesy of Standard Digital Videos:

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Others blame the rise in divorce rate on the change in cultural environment.

“Having been isolated from their Kenyan cultural environment, the immigrant couples lack the marital checks and balances that made their marriages work before they immigrated and apparently fail to maintain their traditional ways as the host culture impacts their lifestyles and worldviews,” says Ohio based Kenyan Scholar, Justus Musyoka.

“After living in the United States for a number of years, hence, many Kenyan immigrant couples eventually
succumb to the influence of American culture in positive and negative ways,” he says.

A thesis by Mr Musyoka paints a worrying picture.

For instance, he writes, “upon encountering unfamiliar marital customs, practices, and tenets,
the Kenyan immigrant couples begin to contend with disillusionment as their deep-rooted
convictions about the marital union become challenged and uprooted by the new cultural
norms.”

In addition, the immigrant couples undergo tremendous shifts in their living standards, working conditions, and exposure to a more permissive society, he says.

Unable to cope, some of the couples start to experience disappointment and disorientation as
traditional assumptions fade and familiar mutual expectations change, giving rise to new relational difficulties in these couples’ marriages.

Engulfed by such high degrees of cultural dissonance and virtual separation from their home culture, many of these Kenyan couples reportedly start to experience a whole new set of marital problems. Kenyan couples who have immigrated to the United States are effectively isolated from their familiar African cultural environment and exposed to new cultural beliefs and practices. This abrupt cultural paradigm shift results in initial cultural shock and, subsequently, cultural dissonance.

READ ALSO:   VIDEO: Kenyans in Diaspora reject BBI report, referendum

Pressed on the one hand by the enticement of being acculturated and socialized into American society and on the other by their own Kenyan cultural biases, the Kenyan immigrant couples begin to be overwhelmed and to experience mutual relational problems that often end up in divorce, concludes Musyoka.


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Diaspora

VIDEO: Kenyans in Diaspora reject BBI report, referendum

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A lobby for Kenyans  in the diaspora is urging voters to reject the  Building Bridges Initiative report in the  referendum being championed by President Uhuru Kenyatta and ODM leader Raila Odinga.

According to Commonwealth Voter Privileges Right Association (COVPRA) the report is being imposed on Kenyans after the views of  certain groups and  elected leaders views were rejected..

Uhuru and Raila have rejected amendments to the final report saying those opposing it had time to give their views to the fourteen member committee they appointment.

 

The lobby avers that the recommendations in the final report do not represent the position of all Kenyans and a contested referendum would divide Kenyans.

“Kenyans should reject the BBI report. It is two man initiative that is being imposed on the people. The clergy have rejected it, several groups have rejected it. It’s not a Wanjiku Initiative. A few people and their surrogates want to change the Constitution for their personal gain,” Mr David Kimengere Waititu, the association’s Organising secretary told the Nation.

“It would have been  necessary to allow debate on all the issues that  arose in the final report  before coming  up with a bill. Kenyans are being taken for a ride,”  he said.

READ ALSO:   Kenyan hit and killed by an 18-wheeler in US just days after returning from Kenya

In June the group petitioned the committee  led by Garissa senator Yusuf Hajji to allow views from all dissenting voices saying all Kenyans should be allowed to participate.

“Freedom to Assembly, Freedom of expression and Freedom to political participation are so important in a  process like this one. It would be a sham  if the BBI Team was to ignore the views of some Kenyans. During the  meetings to sensitize the public on the initiative,” Kimengere said.

Leaders allied to Deputy President William Ruto and civil society are opposed to some of the proposals in the final report.

The group says a contested referendum would leave the country divided.

“We do not want a process that would leave Kenyans more divided. Let all Kenyans reject this report in a referendum to save their country from a few people who think they own Kenya.  We in Covpra, have our motherland at heart,” he said.

 Covpra said that the future of Kenya lies in the hands of the hollo polloi and not it’s leaders.

“ We call upon the Kenyans poor not to buy to the schemes of the dynasties. Let us protect our country by rejecting this monster called BBI if it goes to the referendum.

The group said in a statement that Kenyans should reject plots by politician to engage in chaos.

READ ALSO:   DEATH ANNOUNCEMENT: Kenyan Bishop, Dr. Josiah Thuku Kambutu passes away in the United States

“At the end, this might result to   a badly contested referendum and  create a poisoned society ahead of the 2022 general elections. Let’s refuse any incitement to violence and stand up against the dynasties to shape the future of Kenya,” he says.

In their June petition, the group cited the strained relations between the Executive and the Judiciary and the fall out in the ruling Jubilee party over the process as a matter of concern.

“Our position stands that there is no proposal  to fix the simmering tensions between the two arms of government and between the two leaders of the Executive,” Mr Kimengere stated.

-nation.co.ke


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Diaspora

Life In America No One Tells You About

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BY BOB MWITI

Life in America no one tells you about. In this video, you will learn the following.

1.My journey to the US

2.Opportunities in USA

3.Challenges immigrants face in USA

4.How to transition from a student to a skilled worker in corporate America

5.The attractions & opportunities in the city Of Tampa

A Little Bit About Me!

I am a former international student in USA and I am a senior IT consultant in the areas of Oracle EBS Financials and Robotics Process Automation (RPA) here in USA. I am the programs director of Appstec America – A consulting company based in Tampa, Florida, USA.

I’ve been blessed to have learned a lot in my career as an IT consultant. My life has truly changed, and I’ve made it my mission to give back and serve others beyond myself. Whether that be helping you to relocate to USA as an international student, train you as an IT consultant, help you start and build your own online business, creating your financial freedom, motivating you to pursue your goals and dreams, to being more productive, to inspiring you to constantly improve yourself.

My mission is to get you to wake up to the unlimited potential within you and achieve what you’re truly capable of through my various self-development training programs.On the internet, I openly and passionately share my life experiences and all of the very best concepts, strategies, tools, and resources that I continue to discover that have made a measurable difference to my life, and will do for you as well.

READ ALSO:   Police in Atlanta seek "thirsty" man caught on camera 'stealing wine worth $2,000 from a Whole Foods store'

Keep your dream alive and never give up! To learn about my company’s amazing programs, please go to;

www.appstecamerica.com or www.successwithbobmwiti.com

Contact me at;
success@successwithbobmwiti.com
info@appstecamerica.com
+1 813-573-5619 ext 402


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Diaspora

VIDEO: 28 year old Kenyan woman marries a 60 year old German and tongues can’t stop wagging

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Ciru Njuguna is 28 and her husband Greg Twiss is 60. Please don’t let that age gap fool you, these two deeply love each other and they are living their best life together.

But when people say Ciru is just after Greg’s money and he will end up in a septic tank, that gets to her. She is not ashamed of her relationship and strongly urges the public to let other people be.

“My German husband is older than my father. People say I am his slave and he is a colonial master,” she says.

She sat down with Lynn Ngugi for this exclusive episode of Tuko Talks and this is her story.


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READ ALSO:   VIDEO: It’s a living hell for Kenyans flying back from overseas
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