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VIDEO: How working “Doubles” is contributing to high divorce rate among Kenyans in US

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BY BMJ MURIITHI

This week, The Diaspora Life show by Chris Wamalwa takes a look at factors that have led to the rise in divorce cases within the Kenyan diaspora community, especially in the United States.

Many Kenyan couples immigrating to the United States appear to be overwhelmed as they grapple with marital and family issues often occasioned by the new environment, leading to separation or even bitter divorces.

One issue that seems to stick out like a sore thumb and comes up in many conversations is the “urge to make as much money as possible which makes Kenyans ‘forget’ that hey have families.”

This, according to experts, cuts both ways, as both men and women are guilty as charged.

“Many work double or even triple shifts and are hardly at home even when needed the most,” says an observant Kenyan based in Baltimore, Maryland.

“It is not uncommon to find couples who are literally “separated” by their work schedules. Some, in states like Massachusetts, work in live-ins, sometimes “abandoning” their spouses for months on end…all in the name of money,” he told Kenya Satellite News Network.

“I think this also has something to do with shattered expectations when they were setting out to come to the US. Many think getting money here is easy…only to land and be confronted by the bitter truth that “dollars do not grow on trees and you have to work very hard to survive,” he added.

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According to Bishop Paul Kiilu of Gospel Lighthouse Ministry in Newark, Delaware, working many different shifts has greatly contributed to the rise of divorce cases among Kenyans in the US.

“You will find that many couples don’t spend time together as either the man or the woman is away looking the money, and the two only meet on the way in or out of the house. This is very common,” he says.

“Many African women often accept this as their destined way of life until they come to the United States where women have more rights and privileges and then they begin to be assertive thereby upsetting their existing family orders,” says Bishop Kiilu.

Ms Maggie Marikah Kwabena, an Atlanta based Kenyan says the situation is worrying.

“On a scale of 1 to 10, I would say the rate of divorce among the Kenyans in US is at 6,” she says.

” I blame the American system for the high divorce rate. Couples have to work so hard to earn a living. You barely have time for your spouse…and for those couples with children, the don’t have time for them either,” she told journalist Chris Wamalwa in Atlanta. Watch the show below courtesy of Standard Digital Videos:

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Others blame the rise in divorce rate on the change in cultural environment.

“Having been isolated from their Kenyan cultural environment, the immigrant couples lack the marital checks and balances that made their marriages work before they immigrated and apparently fail to maintain their traditional ways as the host culture impacts their lifestyles and worldviews,” says Ohio based Kenyan Scholar, Justus Musyoka.

“After living in the United States for a number of years, hence, many Kenyan immigrant couples eventually
succumb to the influence of American culture in positive and negative ways,” he says.

A thesis by Mr Musyoka paints a worrying picture.

For instance, he writes, “upon encountering unfamiliar marital customs, practices, and tenets,
the Kenyan immigrant couples begin to contend with disillusionment as their deep-rooted
convictions about the marital union become challenged and uprooted by the new cultural
norms.”

In addition, the immigrant couples undergo tremendous shifts in their living standards, working conditions, and exposure to a more permissive society, he says.

Unable to cope, some of the couples start to experience disappointment and disorientation as
traditional assumptions fade and familiar mutual expectations change, giving rise to new relational difficulties in these couples’ marriages.

Engulfed by such high degrees of cultural dissonance and virtual separation from their home culture, many of these Kenyan couples reportedly start to experience a whole new set of marital problems. Kenyan couples who have immigrated to the United States are effectively isolated from their familiar African cultural environment and exposed to new cultural beliefs and practices. This abrupt cultural paradigm shift results in initial cultural shock and, subsequently, cultural dissonance.

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Pressed on the one hand by the enticement of being acculturated and socialized into American society and on the other by their own Kenyan cultural biases, the Kenyan immigrant couples begin to be overwhelmed and to experience mutual relational problems that often end up in divorce, concludes Musyoka.

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Diaspora

DIASPORA HUSTLES: How a sofa I had taken from a dumpster in US earned me a date with a cop

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BY BOB MWITI

Life in America can be very humbling, especially when you are starting off.

After I graduated with my master’s degree here in America, I rented a studio apartment in one of the not-so-nice neighborhood in Philadelphia. During the day, I would help the caretaker with some cleaning of the common areas of the building and also in doing some repairs and paintwork. For that work, I would get something at the end of the week, enough to keep me going.

My studio abode was on the 5th floor of this old crammed building that sat next to a railway line. Down at the back side of the building lay the dumpster where all kind of “valuables” such as old TVs, music systems, mattresses, etc would be tossed…sometimes all the way from the top floor by the crazy residents.

During my cleaning duties, I would make sure that all of the mess around the dumpster was taken care of.

One day, during my usual duties, I found this unbelievably good used couch that I immediately thought would be a good addition to my studio which had nothing other than a mattress, no bed and only 2 pots and a plate!..My God of heaven & earth had answered my prayers!…and the Devil of poverty was on the cusp of defeat.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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It was a gigantic couch and I urgently needed some help to take it all the way up to the 5th floor. I awkwardly reached out to a resident I had made friends with, and we went on a mission to take it all the way up!…with a promise of getting him a case of budlight beer! The trip up to the 5th floor took an eternity….we were all soaked in sweat.

Now, this is why they say the devil is a liar!!!.😂😂😂…What I didn’t know was that after all the hard work of pushing it all the way up, the stupid thing would never fit into my little door to my studio….😭😭😭😭….Tried endlessly until the guy gave up and left . I had no choice but to leave the damn thing on the hall way!!!..Well, the next day the caretaker and a cop were knocking on my door seeking an explanation as to why I was blocking the hallway!

Such is the life most of us immigrants go through when we first come to America.It’s not easy but with time things surely improve.

If you are out there wishing to come to USA to study or wishing to become a well paid IT consultant in America, head over to www.appstecamerica.com and check out my company’s amazing STUDY IN USA and IT TRAINING programs.

 

READ ALSO:   Kenyan marries another man in USA

About me,

I am a former international student in USA and I am a senior IT consultant in the areas of Oracle EBS and Robotics Process Automation.I am the programs director of Appstec America – A consulting company based in Tampa, Florida,USA.

 

My contacts:

success@successwithbobmwiti.com

info@appstecamerica.com

+1 813-573-5619 ext 402

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Diaspora

VIDEO: Sky News “Identifies” Kenyan who fell from a plane as more questions linger

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On 30 June 2019, a man fell from the sky and landed in the back garden of a house in south London. No one knew who he was or why he took such a risk – until now.

After an exclusive investigation, Sky News believes it has identified the stowaway. However, questions still linger over what exactly happened to the body, which was described by one of the witnesses as “intact because it was frozen.”

The British Media House has spent the last few months trying to determine the identity of this individual – including speaking to his family and friends – and has come to the conclusion that  he is a 29-year-old who worked as an airport cleaner in Kenya.

His girlfriend said they had planned to start a family, but he made a decision that virtually guaranteed his demise.

Earlier, London police released an e-fit image of the stowaway in hunt for his identity, and also released pictures of a bag that was found in the compartment and its contents were also released.

“This has been a very sad incident to investigate. This man has a family somewhere, who need to know what happened to their loved one,” a British police officer said while releasing the images.

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“Our investigations has included liaison with the authorities in Kenya, from where the flight took off, but so far our efforts to identify this man have proved fruitless. I hope by releasing this e-fit someone known to the deceased will recognise him and make contact,” he added.

In the Sky News report, an employee of Colnet, a company that provides cleaning services at the Jomo Kenyatta International Airport, has identified the man as his workmate who went missing in June, Sky News reports.

Irene revealed that her colleague, Paul Manyasi, had gone missing at the end of June.

“We were at work in the morning…he suddenly disappeared. I called his phone it was off,” Irene, who was Manyasi’s girlfriend, told Sky News.

Manyasi lived in the sprawling Mukuru Kwa Njenga slum which is near the airport.

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Diaspora

VIDEO: Furious Bishop in US tells off Kenyans who go drinking alcohol at funerals

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A US-based Bishop is unhappy with some Kenyan immigrants whom he says are tarnishing the good name of the community. Bishop Dr GG Gitahi of  Kenyan American Community Church (KACC) in Marietta, Georgia, has chastized some of his compatriots for what he terms as “unacceptable habits.”

During his Sermon aptly titled “Let Us Choose,” last Sunday, Bishop Dr GG Gitahi “went after” those who carry alcohol to funerals homes and imbibe while the funeral service is going on and furiously said he wishes some of those people remained back in Kenya to “save us the embarrassment.”

“If you are one of those people, you are an embarrassment to the larger Kenyan community in the US,” he said.

Ni aibu kubwa mnatuletea hapa. Instead of people waiting to go and have their beer at home, wanaenda kwa funeral Homes na kutoa bia na kuanza kunywa. Halafu Director wa Funeral Home anasema Pastor, can’t your people have mannersTabia zingine tuache. Ndiyo sababu tunajiaibisha.”

You can watch the whole summon here courtesy of youtube/kacc:

 


READ ALSO:   VIDEO: New song Warns Kenyan women who disrespect their husbands in the Diaspora
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