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Betty Kyallo talks wedding, fears and Ivanna’s recovery

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Betty Kyallo has opened up about her plans to walk down the aisle a second time.

In a candid Q&A with fans, the K24 news anchor answered questions sent to her by curious fans.

One fan asked Betty,

“When are you getting married?”

She responded,

“When I do.”

Betty also added that she doesn’t pay mind to trolls or hater who try to bring her down.

She said, “That is never my problem. It is the haters’ problem. Only I, decide what to take in the rest is just noise.”

Adding,

“No one puts betty down.”

]

She also shared an update on the health of Ivanna after she was hospitalised for four months.

Read the rest of her responses to fans who wanted to know more about her charmed life.

Watch Peter Blessing’s song that annoyed Bahati till he arrested him

 

By Mpasho

READ ALSO:   I am ready to get married again – Betty Kyallo
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Why I walked away from my marriage and never asked for a shilling

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Recently, a heated debate ensued on radio host Maina Kageni’s Facebook page, with numerous women commenting on their take on child support from their estranged partners. While some aired their frustrations about the process, others confessed that they had never sought or received support from their former spouses. What would drive them to never look back? Caroline Njoroge speaks to one such woman, Valentine Kawira (pictured).

“Everyone knows when they are about to hook up with a disaster in waiting. There is that red flag that goes off in your spirit but hormones get in the way of good judgement. When I started dating my now ex-husband, something didn’t feel right. But I was in love and chose to ignore everything that did not line up with my wanting to be with him.

It was in the little white lies here and there. I couldn’t figure out at that time that pathological liars don’t always reveal the full extent of their lying potential on the first date.

Things began changing when I gave birth to my second born. Why do men change when we give birth? The arguments became more heated and threats interwoven in the arguments became a bit scarier with every argument.

The last straw came when he lied perpetually about the money I gave him to pay school fees for my first born (she is from a different relationship I had while I was a university student).

She had just started going to school. I remember getting a letter from her school about outstanding fees. Whenever I asked him about it, he would respond that there must be a problem with the system at that school. He would go, talk to the bursar and things would go on as normal.

Then one day, the school bus driver refused to pick the child up and said it was because the outstanding fee was substantially high. When I told my husband what the bus driver had said, he hurriedly prepared and left. At that point, I decided I would go to the school myself to find out what was going on.

READ ALSO:   Wakimani speaks on battling depression, alcoholism, lover leaving him

At the school, the bursar said my daughter owed the school fees for two terms. They had not received any money before that morning when my husband had walked in to pay Sh10,000.

As I was seated there still trying to process what was happening, my ex walked in. The bursar asked him why he had come back and his response was quite the performance: “Me? Mimi? Nikakuja hapa?’. He completely denied that he had been to the school earlier on. He was the kind of guy that would make you believe that regardless of what you think you know or have seen, you are the one with a problem.

So, I sat and watched the drama unfold. When it was over, I paid the outstanding fees (Sh30,000) from what I had in my mobile money account and we went home.

I had questions: “So, where did the money which I gave for payment of school fees go? You said you had paid. You gave me narrations of the long queues at the bursar’s office…”

“I gave the money to my sister because she was in need,” was the response.

“So, why did you not tell me that? For two terms?”

I found out he had also been taking money out of our joint account and not telling me. The last argument ended this way, “Nitakuvunja shingo wewe!”

I figured he might be serious, so I packed my bags and moved out with my children. I was of more value to them alive than dead. I figured I did not have to wait for him to become physically abusive for me to get the point. I walked away while I could.

READ ALSO:   Kambua opens up on challenges of motherhood

It has been about four years. You ask me about child support! What child support? I don’t even expect it.

Our separation made me realise just how much I had neglected myself. I was taking care of everyone else but myself; too busy working to become a wife and a better mother. It made me realise that I had struggled with feelings of failure for long and having a failed relationship did little to salvage the situation.

I found myself sliding into the pit of depression; struggling to understand who I now was. I got panic attacks. People tell you to be strong because you are not the first to go through it, it’s like telling a patient in a coma to get up, they are not the first to go through it. It doesn’t help.

If anything, it makes things worse. There have been times when I thought I had moved on, but slid back into that dark cave. It feels you’re drowning and there is no one to hold your hand and pull you out. You could be in a room full of people but you feel so alone.

I’m fine now, I am strong. That word strong, I don’t really like it because it’s the same one some well-meaning people would use right after they would say I wasn’t the only one who had gone through it.

I have learnt how to take good care of myself and have no expectations when it comes to relating to people. That way, there are no surprises or disappointments experienced.

My advice to that girl, that woman feeling trapped in something that is just not working is that it is okay to walk away. If he is emotionally and physically abusive, don’t use your children as an excuse to dig your own grave. Walk away. I walked away after less than five years of being in a union that was about to cross over to a physical disaster.

READ ALSO:   Lillian Muli takes over the airwaves

As far as child support is concerned, if you are lucky enough to get it, be grateful. If not, don’t waste your money on legal fees or unnecessary drama, God will provide for you and your children. Focus your energy on finding yourself again and rebuilding.

To the single girl, don’t put your money in one basket. Before I got into that relationship, I heard someone say that it was not a good idea to have a joint account with your spouse. I thought the people that said that were archaic and not with the times. I now know better.

It is okay to share financial responsibilities but have your own money in your own account. Also don’t ignore red flags, if it doesn’t feel right, if there are some telltale signs that don’t augur well with you, run. Feelings will catch up with your decision. Walk into a relationship with your head and not just your heart.

To the divorcee, to that woman still feeling crushed; I know it hurts, but it will get better if you allow it. It takes a decision and surrounding yourself with the right support system. Don’t allow yourself to harbour bitterness and please don’t take it out on the kids or on those that love you.

Statements such as, “wewe ni mjinga tu kama baba yako!’ will crush that child’s esteem. Bitterness is a poison that will destroy whatever you have left. Allow your heart to channel out the pain. Give yourself permission to cry. Be okay with not meeting people’s expectations. Accept where you are and know that even if life didn’t work out as you had planned, you will be fine.

by Standardmedia.co.ke

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Lifestyle

Man who married at 21 after wife rejected him thrice breaks down 11 years love

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You have often heard the wise saying marriage is not a bed of roses and going by the rising divorce numbers in Kenya, this statement could not be any truer.

By the end of 2019, Milimani Law Courts’ civil registry, which registers divorces recorded 1,109 divorces and in January and February 2020 alone, 244 divorces had already been filed.

Kenyan man who married at 21 narrates high and lows of marriage 11 years down the line

Robert and his wife Lucy tied the knot in their early 20’s. Photo: Ndungu Nyoro.
Source: Facebook

But for Robert and Lucy, they chose to stick to each other even in moments when divorce seemed like it was the easy way out and their love story left many inspired that indeed, marriage works.

How they met

Speaking to philanthropist Ndungu Nyoro in his popular segment dubbed #inspirationThursday, Robert admitted he grew up a shy boy and was even convinced, at some point in his life, that he was never meant for relationship and love.

“I also had this deep feeling it had to do with my physical appearance, as I was really thin and broke as well. Honestly, it was tough to get a girlfriend,” he narrated.

Kenyan man who married at 21 narrates high and lows of marriage 11 years down the line

The man and woman grew up in Kayole and went to similar schools. Photo: Ndungu Nyoro.
Source: Facebook

His love for Lucy was not hard to come by given they grew up in the same hood in Kayole, but they lost contact when his now wife’s family relocated to another area.

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The universe was definitely conspiring for them to be together because they both bumped into each other in 2007 in a matatu and exchanged contacts to keep in touch.

By this time, the young Robert was not stable financially to afford expensive dates but would invite the young lady into his place for lunch and dinner.

He had also started getting attracted to his beautiful childhood friend, who was a small business owner in Ngara by then.

Kenyan man who married at 21 narrates high and lows of marriage 11 years down the line

Lucy turned down Robert’s proposal three times but she eventually accepted. Photo: Ndungu Nyoro.
Source: UGC

Robert gathered couraged and asked Lucy to his girlfriend and he was instead slapped with a huge “NO” by the lady who wanted to concentrate on building herself first.

“I asked her for the second time and she said ‘NO’ and that it couldn’t happen. My spirit was dampened and I felt like there was something so wrong with me,” he said.

Undeterred, Robert tried the third time to ask Lucy to be his and, your guess is as good as mine, he was met with another rejection.

They both started a studio business together and it was during their interactions in the shop that the relentless young man popped the question again and fortunately, the lady accepted to be his girlfriend.

READ ALSO:   I am ready to get married again – Betty Kyallo
Kenyan man who married at 21 narrates high and lows of marriage 11 years down the line

They now own various businesses in Kigali Rwanda and their marriage is flourishing. Photo: Ndungu Nyoro.
Source: UGC

Marriage and challenges

Not long after that that the smitten couple, aged 20, for Lucy and Robert 21, tied the knot in a traditional wedding in 2009

They said though their parents were concerned about their young ages, they still supported them.

Their first hurdle in marriage was finances since their studio was not earning them much and secondly, Lucy had a troublesome first pregnancy.

After the birth of their child, Robert felt forsaken since Lucy’s attention was for the baby only and gradually, they started falling apart and they would even go for days without talking to each other.

Kenyan man who married at 21 narrates high and lows of marriage 11 years down the line

Robert said communication has helped them remain strong in their marriage. Photo: Ndungu Nyoro.
Source: UGC

Heated arguments

One time, when they had an argument, they almost completely gave up on the union but lucky for them, a neighbour intervened and they talked and decided to forgive each other.

Now, 11 years together and parents to two adorable boys, the couple are business owners of a consultancy firm in Kigali, Rwanda and other businesses and the best part is that their love has never been so alive as it is.

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For them, they do not regret marrying young and they said communication and openness have been some of the values that have kept their love strong for more than a decade.

“We don’t keep secrets, we prefer being open to each other. When it comes to finances and running the business, she does the budgets and planning,” he said.

by Tuko.co.ke

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Business

Optiven Foundation Spreads hope to the vulnerable Amidst Covid Pandemic

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As we gear towards alleviate poverty levels in our society, the Optiven Foundation has reached out to support
FLOMINA children’s home. Located in Nairobi’s Soweto area, the home was the recipient of assorted food stuffs including cereals, pulses and vegetable oil.

More than 65 vulnerable children some who are orphaned , abandoned or living with HIV & AIDs, got reasons to smile courtesy of Optiven Foundation.

As the eyes on the community, the Foundation’s desire is to transform & improve the livelihood of the vulnerable families in our society. This is by offering them support that includes basic food stuff. We thank all those who support the optiven vision of economically and socially empowering the communities

How to Easily Partner & Be a Philanthropist TODAY

1. Support a deserving needy person.
Mpesa Paybill: 898 630.
Account name: Donation

2. https://web.facebook.com/pg/optivenfoundation/reviews ( like our page & drop a comment) if a beneficiary, drop us a review & rate us

For more information reach us on +254 718 776 033 or info@optivenfoundation.org | www.optivenfoundation.org

READ ALSO:   Wakimani speaks on battling depression, alcoholism, lover leaving him
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