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JOKE: Why men should listen to and obey instructions

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Max and his wife Lola received a letter from their daughter who had gone to study “Modern Biochemistry” overseas.

She wrote, “My beloved parents, I miss you so much and it breaks my heart to think that by the time I get back, you will be so old. Therefore, I am enclosing a bottle of a red potion that I have invented. It will make you 5 years younger, and so when I return, you will be the same age as I left you. Please, take only a drop. Goodbye I love you!”

They opened the envelope and found the bottle with the red potion.

Max looked at his wife and said, “You go first.”

Lola took a drop and when she indeed turned 5 years younger, Max embraced his turn.

Years later, the daughter returns home to find her mother… she is younger and happier, and she is carrying a baby on her back. She tells her daughter how the potion worked and how it has made her look younger. The daughter is happy and she asks about her father.

“Your father? Hmmm! You know how men don’t listen! He drank the whole bottle.”

“Whaaat! Where is he?”

“Who do you think is on my back?” she quipped.

Men should, indeed, keenly listen to and obey instructions.

READ ALSO:   BREAKING NEWS: Kenyan woman and her two husbands arrested
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Entertainment

Njugush’s wife Celestine on keeping your circle of friends’ small

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By JUDITH GICOBI

Celestine Ndinda, aka Wakavinye, wife to Comedian Njugush, has a few words of advice to her fans. She urges them that having a small circle of friends is a wise thing to do, especially if you live in Nairobi.

 Wakavinye has supported her husband since their early days, even before all the fame. Njugush feels lucky to have her as a wife. 

The two have sustained same longtime friends and Celestine shares the little secret for that.

She says;

“I have learnt that in life, you need to learn at most five close friends.

 By doing this, be sure that the first three will help you when you are in need.”

She further adds having too many friends also drains you financially

“Imagine all those friends have birthdays and they need you to show up, yaani every time you are planning of how to spend unlike when you have a small circle.”

 

And there is also societal pressure to have many friends;

“Ata kama umesota, it is hard to communicate that to a big number of people because some will gossip about you and most of them show up when you have a party, but when you are in a problem, you will not have them around,” she said.

She also insists on being yourself, don’t compete

“When you compete with your friends, you will get exhausted. So go with your pace.”

Some of the couple’s long-time close friends include; Abel Mutua and his wife Judy Nyawira, Philip and his wife Cate Actress.

READ ALSO:   VIDEO: Kenyan woman warns slay queens to leave her husband alone
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Lifestyle

DJ Evolve: Meet man ‘accidentally shot’ by Babu Owino

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On Friday, Kenyans woke up to news of a shooting incident involving Embakasi East MP Babu Owino.

The legislator was arrested and detained at Kilimani Police station after DJ Evolve was shot in the neck at B Club along Galana Road in Kilimani, Nairobi. The DJ sustained serious injury and was rushed to the hospital, with doctors saying that he is in stable condition.

Initial reports indicate the spent cartridge and weapon from the shooting incident are yet to be retrieved by the police.

An investigation by SDE unearthed the last known video of the DJ performing at the high-end entertainment spot yesterday night.

Dressed in a black bomber jacket, DJ Evolve, who also refers to himself as ‘The Lowkey Assassin’, is seen on the decks dancing to the music in the background, unaware of what would later befall him.

Calm mannerism

A source who spoke to SDE described DJ Evolve as a ‘jovial young man’ who never got involved in confrontations.

“He is not dramatic. He’s usually very cheerful most of the time. Whenever he walked into the club, he would move around saying hi said to all customers,” said the source, adding that the DJ once worked at the nearby Kiza Lounge.

READ ALSO:   VIDEO: Kenyan woman warns slay queens to leave her husband alone

Shooting was ‘accidental’

Cliff Ombeta

Lawyer Cliff Ombeta is representing the MP.

Speaking to the press, Babu’s lawyer Cliff Ombeta said that the shooting incident was accidental and that there was no intention to commit an offence.

“In as much as people out there are talking that it is murder and all that, it’s not true at the moment.

“You can remember that on 17 November 2019 he reported an incident whereby he had been tracked by some people. He said that his life was in danger and reported the matter at Parliament police station.

“Since then he s been very anxious. He’s been increasing his security, changing his route when moving from one place to another.

“This morning, a person who he eventually realised was his friend somehow approached him in a way that was unexpected and Babu reacted. I can only say reacted, let me not say anything beyond that. Eventually, somebody was shot,” said Ombeta.

The lawyer added that Babu had requested for the matter to be thoroughly investigated while calling on his constituents not to protest his arrest.

According to Ombeta, the gun involved in the shooting is in the hands of the police and that Babu is a licensed firearm holder.

Check out photos of the young DJ:

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We are just friends, woman says of ‘husband’ charged with assaulting her

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A man charged within assaulting his “wife” had bitter exchanges with the woman’s father in court as the father disputed his daughter’s marriage to the suspect.

Ferdinand Atandi was charged with assaulting Jackline Wanjugu, a Standard Gauge Railway station attendant, and causing her bodily injuries.

He is said to have snatched her phone immediately she arrived from work and forced her to disclose her pin before he started raining blows on her while armed with a knife. He later pushed her to bed threatening to kill her.

She allegedly disclosed the same after she started nose bleeding and sought help through Facebook while Atandi was hiding in bathroom.

But Atandi denied the charges before chief magistrate Heston Nyaga and claimed Jackline was his wife and the incident was a domestic issue.

But Jackline’s father Daniel Gathuma said he has no idea that his daughter was married to the suspect.

Gathuma told the magistrate that on January 13, he received a phone call at 5am from a woman who informed him that his daughter’s life was in danger following a communication she had with her on Facebook.

ABUSIVE BOYFRIEND

He was informed that Atandi allegedly wanted to kill Jackline. Gathuma claimed he drove from Utawala to Tassia in 15 minutes to rescue his daughter from an “abusive boyfriend”.

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He claimed Atandi fled through a kitchen window after he knocked on the door but left a knife in the kitchen sink.

Gathuma maintained that he has been sending his daughter money to pay rent but Atandi said he lives with her at his rented house in Tassia, Embakasi in Nairobi.

The father added that he was not aware of the house rent arrangement as he has been sending his daughter Sh18,000 for rent every month.

Jackline claimed they were “just friends” and have been cohabiting and cost sharing the rent. Nyaga caused amusement in court after asking Gathuma whether Atandi had paid bride price.

“They are ‘just friends’ as I have not received any bride price from Atandi. They have been cohabiting and Atandi has only a few belongings like clothes in the house,” Gathuma said.

The two have lived together for 10 months and Jackline wanted a restrictive order to restrain Atandi from accessing the house because she fears for her life. Atandi, however, disputed this and said it was not logical since his household items were still in the house.

The issue degenerated into an argument between Atandi and Gathuma prompting Nyaga to summon the officer investigating the matter to shed light by establishing who actually owns the house between the two, before he could set bond terms and issue any restraining orders as sought by Jackline.

READ ALSO:   Kenyan woman empties sufuria containing hot cooking oil on husband

By NN

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