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Couple’s hard decision of putting off wedding



For Bernard Muchuri and his fiance Rachael Muturi, Saturday would have been a special day.

The duo from Kawangware in Nairobi had planned for months and heavily invested in their wedding.

All was set for their relatives and friends to witness them walk down the aisle at the Full Gospel Church Kawangware this weekend.

But this will, unfortunately, not be. Instead, the couple, like many others who had scheduled to solemnise their unions in the next few weeks, can only imagine how the big day would have been.

Muchuri, a pastor, and Muturi had to call off the ceremony, whose planning started in January, following the government’s ban on large gatherings.

The ban affected weddings, church services and even funerals, as part of the measures to prevent a spread of coronavirus.

Since Monday, the couple has been reaching out to their friends and relatives in Meru, Nakuru, Kiambu and Nairobi, who they had invited to the wedding, to inform them that the nuptials will not proceed.

“We want to thank you for your love, support and every deed to see that our wedding day was successful this Saturday 28th March, but it will not take place due to the directives given by the government of Kenya that no public gatherings of more than 20 people will be allowed,” they wrote in their message.

Hired vehicles They added: “Bearing in mind that all of you would wish that we celebrate the big day together and as per now it’s impossible, with the help of our religious leaders, we have decided to postpone the wedding day until a day that we shall let you know.”

The couple had already bought a wedding gown for the bride and a suit for the groom, clothes for bride maids and groomsmen and their parents. They had also hired vehicles to ferry the couple and their guests on the wedding day.

The couple had also booked the St James Catholic Church HGM grounds for the reception and paid a deposit.

Yesterday, Muchuri told People Daily that though the postponement of the wedding was a difficult decision, it was better that they wait. “We would have just come together with my bride, pastor, parents and best couple and carried on with the marital vows. But we have many friends who have been part of our lives and had participated in the planning and we felt that it was better to wait.” Safety protocols On Sunday, Health Cabinet Secretary Mutahi Kagwe said the government had decided to ban all social gatherings, including in churches and mosques, because majority of the people had ignored safety protocols on social distancing outlined last Friday.

Kagwe also ordered closure of bars, banned weddings and restricted funerals to family members not exceeding 15 as part of measures to slow down the spread of coronavirus.

Muchuri said two other weddings in the church had been called off.

But they are at least lucky that their suppliers, most of who belong to their church, had agreed to compensate for the services procured from them once the disease is subdued and another date set.

The couple’s predicament is an illustration of the impact of coronavirus on social activities, with thousands of weddings having been called off in churches and mosques across the country.

Presbyterian Church of East Africa Secretary General Rev Peter Kania yesterday told People Daily that though they have not tabulated the numbers “they so many”.

“We shall give the numbers later but all I can say for now is that they are so many,” Kania said, adding that the PCEA Naivasha Parish alone had 30 weddings called off in line with the government’s directive.

Christ is the Answer Ministries (CITAM) communications manager

Rogers Wambua said they have put off 11 weddings at the Thika Road church.


• PCEA Naivasha Parish, 30 weddings have been called off in line with the government’s directive.

• Christ is the Answer Ministries (CITAM) Thika Road church has put off 11 weddings, according to communications manager.

By People Daily

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VIDEO: Kenyan woman says “hii Quarantine imetenganisha Mipango ya Kando na Wababa”



A video of a Kenyan woman appealing to “Wababa” to be more humane during the Corona Lockdown has gone Viral. The unidentified woman says the situation is so dire for mipango ya kando (side chics) that they have no idea what to do.

“Sasa hata hatuwezi piga picha zile tulikuwa tunapost hapo mbeleni,” she says. ‘Hata kuongea kwa simu sasa hatuwezi ongea juu mko na mawife zenu,” she adds.

She appeals to the men to at least send their girlfriends some money minus 30 per cent.

We can’t even post those photos we used to post with the caption: Naivasha Manenos. Hii quarantine siyo kupenda kwetu. What are we supposed to do?” she poses.

Although the video seems to have been meant to be some sort of  comic relief, there is a growing concern among Kenyans over what people who hitherto were fully dependent on others are supposed to do in the face of the Corona Pandemic which has literally stopped most activities around the world. Watch:

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Millie Odhiambo: On being childless, father’s death and her long distance relationship



Did your father’s death push you to politics?

Yes. I like to say I am a chip off the old block. I definitely inherited the political bug from him, though I was probably the least likely member of the family to inherit this trait.

As a young girl, I was more like my mother- shy, less talkative, religious, spiritual and not keen on politics.

How was the relationship with your father?

I was fairly young when my dad died, but I still have vivid memories of him. He loved me a lot, especially because I resembled my grandma and he fondly called me Nya Gera (meaning ‘daughter of Gera,’ which is how my grandma was referred to).

I loved dancing so he would play Lingala. He took us to public functions where we got privileged treatment. He often took us out for outings and on drives. I remember my last birthday with him. He bought me and my sister Dottie red and yellow sunglasses. He died two days later.

Did life change after his death?

Yes it did. Our social network changed. We were no longer invited to some birthday parties. Most of his friends ‘disappeared.’ My mum had to struggle very hard to educate the eight of us. I grew up knowing we were somewhat different. My mum tried her best though to ensure we fit in

What do you miss most about him and are there qualities you share with him?

I missed having a father like other kids and wondered whether things would have been different.

Mama would say at times that, “You know your dad would have been an MP in Mbita and we would not be struggling so much.” He also loved fun and would organise ‘dances’ that were attended by parents. I am told my dad was so bold and frank.

People in south Nyanza, for instance, feared challenging Tom Mboya in favour of Jaramogi, but my father was one of the very few who could do that. I have also read some newspaper reports about him.

How were your first campaigns for political office?

My campaigns to office were very exciting, but also challenging. Even though I had a lot of support, the incumbent did not support me.

I lacked resources and faced violence and propaganda. I have written about my experience in a book titled Political Leadership Unpackaged: Lessons for Aspiring Women Leaders. I was surprised to learn that elected women had not shared their political experiences before.

I respect any woman who has vied against men and won.

Is there a particular incident that ‘toughened’ you?

I have learnt a lot over the years. Some of these lessons have lasting impacts that have toughened me. When my father died, I learnt about the change of guard.

When my father was alive, we would be driven to the stadium and get VIP treatment. Whenever there was a fracas, we got police protection, since we were considered children of a dignitary. After my father’s death, I attended an event a month later and as was the norm, made for the VIP section.

But things had changed and I was pushed to the public ‘sun’ gallery. I learnt very early that nothing, including positions, are permanent.

In 2016, you vehemently opposed the controversial Security Laws (Amendment) Bill and accused Moses Kuria of what could be interpreted as sexual assault…

Moses Kuria punched me and apologised the same day. Two MPs tried to undress me and a third was pulling my panty. I did not decide to undress, but simply ‘helped’ those trying to undress me.

I told them I am not ashamed of my nakedness hence they should not try to embarrass me using the same. I have worked for years on issues related to violence against women. All I did was take the ‘power of embarrassment’ from them by showing them their action had no impact on me.

You once said in an interview that you met your husband at a time you had decided to keep off relationships. What had happened?

I just wanted time out to myself before getting involved in a serious relationship.

How often do you see your husband?

Before, we saw each other like four times a year. Now we see each other more often.

A while back, you said in Parliament that some men have called you a prostitute for not having children. How do you cope with such negativity?

I felt sorry for the person who called me a prostitute for not having a child. That is a person mocking God because it’s God who chooses whom to bless. I hope he seeks forgiveness from God.

How often do you see your step-daughter?

My step-daughter is called Lebo. I have a very good relationship with her. We communicate often on phone.

She lives in Botswana with her father and mother, but we keep in touch and meet once in a while at family events in Zimbabwe, South Africa or when I travel to Botswana.

By Standard

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Couples share what it’s like being quarantined with their soon-to-be exes



A recent thread brought to light some of the unspoken issues that have cropped up due to the coronavirus lockdown. We have all had to contend with spending copious amounts of time indoors and trying to keep our sanity, as we self-isolate. Many plans have had to change and these include plans to let go of significant others whose time was up.

One user took to Reddit to ask how people were coping now that they were forced to continue living with partners they had hoped to let go.

“Anybody out there quarantined with a romantic partner that you planned on divorcing/breaking up with before the world was put on hold? What’s that like?” the post read.

Many responded pointing out the challenges they are facing.

Lockdown prevented us from getting seperate homes

“My wife and I separated three weeks ago. We were both in the process of finding different places to live but our town is shut down now. Needless to say it’s been awkward and tense for us.”

We’re lucky she works in essential services

“My ex & I broke up a couple of months ago. Still living together because our lease isn’t up until September & neither of us has the money to break it. It’s going okay, it’s reasonably amicable, but I’m so thankful she is considered an “essential employee” & still working full-time. I’d be going insane if we were stuck in the house together, day in, day out. I’m just praying we don’t actually end up in quarantine.”

It’s been awkward and tense (Photo: Shutterstock)

My divorcing parents use me as a go-between

“I am currently quarantined with my parents who parents are in the middle of a divorce (dad decided to get a girlfriend after 27 years of marriage) and they aren’t speaking to each other but using me as a go between. It’s been the longest week of my life.”

No relationship pressure 

I have a friend/co-worker whose ex-wife of a month ago just moved back in with him for financial reasons so they could both survive through these difficult times. He said now that the baggage of being in a relationship is gone, they get along and are happier than they’d been for a while. They also have children together, and he feels like now that they don’t need to focus on each other, they can devote more time to the kids and themselves.

We’ve changed our minds (Photo: Shutterstock)

He is making an effort

A little before all this started I made it clear that I was considering divorce and he started making an effort. Now, with the exception of the ever-present fear of getting too sick to care for our children or society crumbling and being unable to meet our basic needs, there aren’t any distractions. And now I’m finally getting the things I’ve been asking for for years.

We changed our minds

Pretty cool. I’ve changed my mind: I think she’s changed hers.

It’s not fun

My ex and I decided to get divorced a few weeks ago, and she is still planning on moving out at the end of the month. We thought we would both be busy enough for it not to be that hard, but then pandemic happened. It’s… not fun.

I haven’t told her I want a divorce (Photo: Shutterstock)

Unhappy but can’t bring myself to end it

We had a couples counseling appointment scheduled that I told myself I would wait until before I verbally said “divorce” to her. But that’s not going to happen with the current state of things. I flip back and forth on if I should say anything but I’m scared to be myself around her. We have an adopted 3 year old daughter whose birth mother died last April so I want to try keeping intact any semblance of a family life for her sake. But I don’t know what the better choice is, continue enduring and losing myself so my daughter can have things I didn’t get as a child, or just start the process of ending it. I certainly can’t do it until the world gets back to some type of normality.

We’re still best friends

I finally admitted to myself that I’m a lesbian, so we’ve been working on divorce proceedings for the last month or so. We still live together because of the lease, but luckily we are best friends still, I’m just not interested in men. It’s sometimes awkward but it’s been mostly okay – luckily he has an essential job so we still get some time apart.

It’s annoying but we’re doing our best

Ya it’s not great, not awful, just annoying. I Told him to move out, we were working toward that process and then…pandemic. If he had left and wasn’t Involved in the care of our son, it would have been a nightmare because I work in the hospital. We’re just trying to do the best we can. This situation hasn’t made anything magically better. I want out, but now is not the right time.

I haven’t told her yet

She doesn’t know yet and I’ve had to push things back. It sucks because I am so unhappy and want it to be done with.

By Standard 

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