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Why you are still single

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1 . Playing hard to get

While it’s true that men are drawn to women who are outgoing and assertive, Sammy Baya, a relationship counsellor, says it’s important to recognise that there’s a fine line between being independent and being unavailable. You may think that playing hard to get and acting in a distant and disengaged way can help you attract a guy, but you may be making a mistake by not making time for him. “While you may assume that acting detached and aloof increases your allure, you come across as uninterested, flaky, and just plain annoying,” he says.

2. Being too needy

When it comes to attracting men, it’s important to recognise that men want to feel as though they’re needed. Specifically, men want to know that they add value to your life. However, many women mistakenly interpret a man’s desire to feel needed by becoming overly needy, jealous, and desperate to spend every waking moment with him — all of which are anything but appealing behaviour to guys.

“I have dated a few clingy women and I can tell you there is nothing as bad as a woman who is so needy,” says Jack Onyango, 33.

Baya says men want to know they complement your life as opposed to being the centre of your universe on which your entire happiness level and sense of self-worth depend.

Sammy Baya, relationship counsellor. PD/COURTESY

3. Being a Negative Nelly

Throughout each day, we all go through a range of emotions. And that’s perfectly normal — it’s just part of being human. Still, while we have to be authentic in how we react to situations, of course, we should also make a concerted effort to maintain a positive outlook. Not only is it healthy for our own mental sanity, but it can also have an effect on our relationship.

One study showed that men found women less physically attractive if their personalities seemed negative.

4. Bad-mouthing your ex

You may think that bad-mouthing your ex around a new guy is a good decision, but it actually makes you look bad instead.

“While your intentions may be to show a guy how much you are over your last love and that he has nothing to worry about when it comes to living up to the men you have been with previously, constantly criticising your ex is a no no.

After all, not only does your need to put down your ex make you come across as spiteful and juvenile, but your unrelenting fixation on your ex makes it seem as though you’re still harbouring feelings for him,” says Beatrice Nderitu, a sociologist.

5. Having no purpose or ambition

You don’t have to have your whole life figured out, but guys don’t want to be with someone who is lacking any sort of purpose or direction. “It seems like you don’t know what you want to do with your life—it can make you come across as unstable,” says Baya.

While a man might enjoy feeling needed from time to time, Baya says

your man doesn’t want to feel like he’s got to rescue you if you are constantly quitting jobs and changing courses in school — or if you have no drive.

This might be, especially true if he’s got a clear vision for his future. “If you don’t know what you want with your life, it will be hard for a man to picture you by his side,” Baya adds.

6. Having no life

Even if you are in a happy and mutually supportive relationship, sometimes you might need a little alone time. This can be more true for some people than others, but, as a general rule, guys will want some space to breathe from time to time. Wanting time apart is not, necessarily, a reflection on how he feels about you. “We all love feeling wanted, but it can be exhausting when your partner is excessively needy. A guy will likely find it unattractive if you demand that he’s by your side 24/7 and can’t find any way to occupy yourself when he’s not around,” says Onyango.

What’s the compromise? Baya advises planning regular outings with friends, taking a fitness class, or binge-watching that show that you love [and he hates), while he does his own thing. Then, chill together and share your experiences!

7. A damsel in distress

Many childhood fairy tales would have you believe that men are attracted to overly dramatic women who are in need of rescuing, but Nderitu says it’s time to turn the page on this outdated way of thinking. “In reality, men aren’t interested in drama, and, if you take the “woe is me” approach in the hopes of attracting a guy, you may be sad to see that seeking his attention by playing the victim will only make you appear desperate, immature, and overdramatic,” she says.

Rather than trying to catch his eye by catastrophising certain situations and hoping it will entice him to come and save you, Nderitu advises you save yourself the trouble by engaging in exercises that can help to boost your self-esteem, as well as learning effective problem-solving strategies that can help you become more self-sufficient.

8 . Always agreeing with him

Believe it or not, always agreeing with a man can be a major turn-off. If you are afraid to state your own opinions, are unwilling to disagree with him, and/or want to avoid any conflict because you believe it will drive him away, it’s actually your lack of openness, honesty, and authenticity that will do just that.

“Expressing your true thoughts and feelings is what helps to strengthen your connection and enables you to get to know each other on a deeper, more intimate level. The key is to be your true self — that way you can attract the right man who appreciates the person you are and not the person you think he wants you to be,” Nderitu says.

By PD.co.ke

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Entertainment

‘Second wives never stay long!’ fan tells Corazon Kwamboka, she responds

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Corazon Kwamboka and her baby daddy Frankie Kiarie are living their best lives.

The social media power couple has been displaying their affection for each other online to the annoyance of many.

Frankie and Corazon

Well, Kwamboka posted a photo goofing around with Frankie and confessed her love for him.

‘I could make this into a long essay about how much you mean to me, I’ll just say it in a word; FOREVER,’ she wrote.

The fitness trainer and father of three responded to his lover’s post and he wrote,

Forever & a Day 🖤

One of Kwamboka’s followers criticised her relationship with Frankie.

Hata Maureen alikuwa hapo. same story. I got only one word for you, second wives never stay long, out of experience. But I wish you nothing but the best.

The mother of one clapped back at the critic, telling her off.

‘And so? My friend, if you want to hate have the balls to just do it, not coat it with “you wish me the best bla bla” I don’t need your wishes. I’ve lived my entire life without them cheers,’ read Kwamboka’s response.

Corazon kwamboka

More reactions from her fans include;

queen_d16 Love has become complicated. If you was raised by both parents in the house, why would you want your kids to be raised by a single parent? Ego is what makes us break up most times and have excuses like we are not compatible or never meant to be! Wouldn’t it be nice if we never had kids with a knowledge of we will anyway not be together in the near future???? Just a thought.

abdulradii I’d also say much but let me just say…Now I know! A woman worst enemy is a woman!!

1234dace Forever is not a promise!

donslim52 Yule mzungu pia you did tell him the same damn thing.

by Mpasho.co.ke

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Entertainment

PHOTOS:Sharon Momanyi talks about her anxiety while showcasing her baby bump

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KTN news anchor Sharon Momanyi has shown off her baby bump is an exquisite photo shoot.
She announced her pregnancy is a cute way. She took to her Instagram ad wrote,

“Oh Look! It’s my adorable, little co-anchor 🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️”

Adding,

“#BestGiftEver
#Ohbaby.”

Now, she has done a photoshoot that has been accompanied by a beautiful prayer for her baby.

Sharon wrote, “A prayer of thanksgiving. That God, the universe, has allowed a person as imperfect as I, to experience and live this moment of perfect love and pure joy. I am incredibly humbled.”

She continued,

“A prayer for good health and safe delivery… for all of us women going through this journey during a pandemic and with varying degrees of access to good health care. I don’t know if you’re as anxious as I am, by faith it will be well!”

In conclusion, Sharon in her applications added,

“A prayer for anyone who may be trying, or waiting for the best time, or the right partner, circumstances or whatever. May it be, just as you wish it to be.”

Check out the photos from the photoshoot.

BY Mpasho.co.ke

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Entertainment

‘It hasn’t hit me yet,’ Shix Kapienga talks about being fired for her radio job

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Media personality and actor Wanjiku Karanja known by her the street moniker Shix Kapienga has spoken about how she found out she had lost her job at Hot 96.

Speaking to Adelle Onyango on her latest podcast, Legally Clueless, Shix detailed how her work life was like from the beginning all the way to when she was let go from her radio gig.

“I took up a job for reggae, not because I knew reggae music, but I told God, this is an opportunity that has been given to me, can I do it? Yes, I can. I was like, I don’t know anything about reggae. I did not know. I learnt, and I was good at it and I became good at it and I would learn every day. I made it my job to learn and I did. I think it took me a few months and I was good at it. I made a few blunders on the radio and on-air, I did a couple but I managed and that is why I was on the radio for 7 years.”

Shix Kapienga
Shix Kapienga

Shix explained that her zeal to work on the radio was dwindling.

“At the beginning of this year, when I went back to work, I was actually from leave, I had come from visiting my sister (in France). I was too frustrated in 2019, and come this year I was going to start afresh, but when the D-Day for me going back to work came, I was like can I extend my leave? I even called my boss and asked. and she was like it is about time you came back to work.”

She added,

“I went back to work and I was like, do I really need to be here? I’m I giving my all, are my bosses okay. it was not good because I was jumping from show to show, I was losing relevance on my show, since July I was on people’s shows not on my show.”

Maribe and Shix Kapeinga
Maribe and Shix Kapeinga

She continued,

“I wanted everything to be perfect, I did not want to be blamed for something going wrong I felt like I was not good enough for it there are times I would get sick… I used to have migraines and my voice would go. Only to find out it was tension and stress. I had lost weight. I started having panic attacks. I was panicking I couldn’t do anything, I was shaking.”

She later went to work and that is when she learned that she had been let go.

Shix said, “To date, it hasn’t hit me yet that it happened. I’m thankful that a girl raised in Kangemi has gone on to rub shoulders with influential people who have come to be good friends.”

by Mpasho.co.ke

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