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I’m dying inside

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Victor* (name withheld) had never imagined that he would one day be called “valueless and useless”.
At least not by the woman he dearly loved, and someone he thought would stand by him through thick and thin.

The Covid-19 pandemic has, however, put that love to test. And he now realises how “valueless and useless” he is perceived by the woman he married eight years ago. Reason? He is unable to provide for his family after losing his job.

The society has unilaterally shouldered men with the burden of being the breadwinners even when the economic paradigms continue to shift with most of them losing jobs.

The gendered responsibilities clashing with the realities of financial ability and love becoming the least determining factor for a cohesive co-existence in the family. This is Victor’s case.

COVID-19

Before the pandemic, the 39-year-old, who lives with in Kambi Muru in Kibra, was a happy man with his wife and three children. He met his family’s needs as he worked as a construction foreman earning a daily wage of Sh2,000.

Then things suddenly changed soon after the Ministry of Health announced the first positive Covid-19 case.
A week after the announcement, he lost his job. He was attached to a church construction project in Nairobi and the management stopped the project citing financial constraints.

He informed his wife, a casual domestic worker, of his job loss. Unlike him, her income stream has remained steady as she still gets the laundry and cleaning jobs, he says.

They talked about their financial status and agreed to adjust their expenditures. Two weeks down the line, life took a different shape.

FLIRTS WITH MEN

“Anything I told or asked her attracted a rude response. I wondered “What is going on? She has never disrespected me this way before!”

This was the beginning of psychological abuse that she continues to mete out on him.
He says she flirts with men on phone in his presence; denies him food on grounds that he has failed to provide for his family, and scolds him.

“Words cannot explain how hurt I am. I am suffering in silence. What can I do? I can’t meet her needs like before,” he narrates.

The wife, he says, blames him for failure to secure another job with a wage higher or equivalent to his previous pay.

USELESS MAN

Occasionally, he gets water vending or luggage pull cart jobs where he makes between Sh200 and Sh500 daily wage.

“She says she finds me to be a useless man as she cannot understand why other men have managed to secure jobs at alternative construction sites yet I have not,” he says.

“Whenever I try to explain myself, she insults me in front of my children. I am so tormented.”
The torment has extended to her wishing him death, a desire she declares in the presence of their children.

She has equally levelled threats of scalding him with hot water and stabbing him to death as “he is valueless and useless.”

To avoid unnecessary conflicts, Victor says he leaves the house by 6.30am without breakfast and returns after 7pm.

“These days, I know breakfast is just for the children. I can’t dare to ask,” he says.
“It feels like I am suffocating whenever it’s time to head back home and I have absolutely nothing to take home.”

1196 HOTLINE

In June, Victor had reached the end of his tether. He wanted to revenge by killing her and the children.

Luckily, while on his way to Yaya Centre to look for a job, he stumbled on a group of men along Ngong’ Road reading an article on the Daily Nation. It was about a hotline – 1196 free for men undergoing Sexual and Gender Based Violence (SGBV).

“I decided to call. The counsellors have really helped me deal with the tension within. Whenever I feel like I am losing it, I call for counselling,” he says.

He says, he takes courage in the fact that he is not alone and someone somewhere cares for him.

However, how to find a new lease of life is the puzzle he wishes he could unravel in this minute.

“I am dying inside. All I want is a job to start a new life away from her.”

By nation.co.ke

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Entertainment

TV host Joyce Maina denies dating DJ Mo: “I’m not dumb to post a married man”

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Switch TV’s Joyce Maina has refuted rumours of her having an affair with renowned DJ Sammy Muraya alias DJ Mo.

There have been allegations about the two being together but Joyce has labeled it hearsay and fake news.

Sharing her side of the story, the TV host shared messages on her Instagram Stories asking if guys thought she was dumb enough to post pictures of a married man.

“How dumb do you think I am to post a married man (not that I’d ever be with one) on my IG,” she wrote.

Joyce found the news hilarious adding guys just mistook a person that was holding her, in a trendy photo, to be DJ Mo.

“Fake news is actually hilarious. So you guys went from not knowing what the man looks like (you just have a blurry photo that makes him look like a shadow), and now all over sudden its DJ Mo? Lol,” Joyce added.

The TV girl must have found the news hilarious and wondered why people would want to tarnish her reputation with such allegations.

Size 8’s take on cheating

Back in 2017, TUKO.co.ke reported on a story where Size 8 claimed that one should be ready to forgive the other when he/she cheats in marriage.

Speaking during a recording of their vlog, the singer said that partners should always be ready to forgive each other in a relationship even when cheating occurs.

“And whoever says they cannot forgive, that is a root of pride,” she said. “Who tells you cannot do that?”

She told her fans cheating shouldn’t be allowed in marriages but in case it happens, couples should find a way to get past it.

“So when your spouse cheats, remember you cheat on God all the time but God forgives you. So forgive your spouse,” she added.

by Tuko.co.ke

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Business

The Sun is now Setting on your Chance to be Part of Amani Ridge the Place of Peace

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With only 26 plots measuring 1/4 acres remaining, the window to own a plot of land at Amani Ridge the Place of Peace is now closing. As this is happening, the cost of these plots is now set to move up by 20%.

Here is the good news though; you still have a chance to secure your property before this change takes effect.

As this window slowly closes, the value additions are tripling as we are now headed to start internal roads murruming before we finally lay cabro on the same streets. On the other hand, the Kenya Power contract to lay underground power is right on the heels.

At the same time, the Razor Wire installation on Wall of Happiness and Wall not Knowledge (1.4Km in length) is also set to start next week.

Meanwhile, we are heartily celebrating the completion of the four walls surrounding this top gated community in Kiambu (Wall of Peace, Wall of Wisdom, Wall of Happiness and Wall of Knowledge).

As we share this update, the laying of paving blocks (cabro) on a one acre gate-area is ongoing as you see on the accompanying photo.

This cabro works on the estate’s driveway has been designed to give all families and visitors coming into this gated community an inviting welcome.

Do you want to know how to be part of Optiven Family?

Call us now: 0790300300 or 0723400500
Website: www.optiven.co.ke

Experience the difference

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Business

What’s Happening at Victory Gardens – Kitengela

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Effectiveness of Gated Communities in Providing Safe Environments for Childrens’ Outdoor Convenience

Due to safety factors, children use of outdoor spaces can be limited.

Victory Gardens, a residential gated community with access control and guarded area has been deliberately developed to give parents peace of mind as they get about their daily business without worrying so much about the safety of their children.

The Children’ Play Park along Mwangaza Avenue was also designed with children that are brought up in this gated community in mind.

This project’s Care Taker, Mr. Ondiek and his team have a brief to make sure that the grass is well manicured to make this space as safe as possible for children.

Why not secure a site visit and invest in your children future?

Call us on: 0790300300 or 0723400500
Website: www.optiven.co.ke

 

~Experience the difference ~

 

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