In the life of a tomboy…

When you hear the word ‘tomboy’ the first thing that probably pops into your mind is a girl who dresses like a boy or maybe a character like Arya Stark who stars in the famous series Game of Thrones and rejects the notion that she must become a woman and marry for influence and power. Instead, she believes that she can forge her own destiny. She is fascinated by warfare and training in the use of arms and is bored by embroidery and other “lady-like” pursuits. She takes after her father and has a quarrelsome relationship with her sister, Sansa due to their contrasting interests and personalities.

In the 16th century, the term was first used to describe a rude and loud boy. Now, it’s used to describe girls that exhibit a range of behaviours and traits that society deems appropriate to boys only. One tomboy will definitely be different from the next one.

There are different traits that one might notice in a tomboy and these include dressing or walking like a boy, being aggressive, playing rough, not caring about getting dirty or about looking pretty. Some tomboys mark their identity strictly by rejecting female clothing.

Attracting attention Dorry Nyambego, 26, was labelled a tomboy since she was young. She is short in stature, keeps short hair and is masculine and when she dresses in sweat shirts, jackets or hoods and boots, one could easily confuse her to be a man.

“I grew up liking and admiring clothes worn by men and from that early age, I started dressing as a tomboy. I am usually so comfortable in them and I just love being who I am. I have fully embraced it,” says j Dorry.

While in public places, Dorry says she attracts attention from different people who will sometimes stand or stop what they are doing just to stare at her. “Though I have never been bullied by anyone, some people look at me as if I have done something wrong. But that’s just my personality,” explains Dorry.

Twenty-eight-year-old Stacy Wangui has also adopted a tomboy personality. “I am much comfortable with my style. It fits my personality well. Though I face some challenges from the society, I love who I am,” says Stacy.

“My walking style sells me out and many people laugh at me. My body is a bit masculine and when I go out with my girlfriends, people stare at me as if to say that I am the odd one out. Some even call me names such as shoga making me feel uncomfortable. However, I totally ignore them,” she adds.

Stacy says: “My wardrobe is filled with sneakers, rubber shoes, jeans and mostly rugged jeans, some official khaki trousers, hoodies, some nice fitting T-shirts and a few shorts for the week end. I am very much comfortable with my style.” Why girls become tom boys Her parents and siblings have accepted her personality “I chose my dress code because I feel safe and attractive in it. It makes me stand out and raises my self-esteem to face challenges that may come my way,” she explains.

Susan Catherine Keter, a transformational life coach says cultural beliefs and gender