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Love, loss and happily-ever-after

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Pinky Ghelani is a familiar face in the media industry. She broke into the limelight when she was crowned Miss India Kenya in 2000. Her media career, however, started in the UK in 1 999 where she interned at Zee TV as a presenter. But she would later come into the country and join Capital FM after her Miss India Kenya win.

Her star as a radio presenter shone for years, until she got to a point she felt she had had it all. So, she resigned after six years and moved on to do different things such as events management, television production and presenter, and even moved on to print as an editor of a local magazine So how is it being married to a media personality?

Raj Sehmi an aspiring cinematographer and entreprenuer who has

been married to Pinky for the past 14 years describes her as headstrong, grounded and an amazing mother.

“We had the same circle of friends.

I met her through her brother. What interested me at first were her good looks, but as I got to know her, I saw the similarity in values that we share – most of all, I liked how open minded she was,” Raj shares.’

He recalls their first date held at Carnivore Restaurant, Nairobi as simple, but lovely. “It was an amazing night with great conversations, nothing over the top, but we thoroughly enjoyed the night,” he adds with a smile.

Lovely Pinky

As they got to know each other, Raj had to leave for the UK for further studies. Pinky found a way to join him there and enrolled for a media course in the UK. They courted for a while before finally having their wedding in January 2007.

When asked about the difference between Pinky the mother, wife and the media personality, Raj says Pinky is the same all through. “What you see her as in public is what she is in person, she does not tolerate nonsense even from her children or myself,” he says. He continues to share how his wife is always herself and real all the time. The only side that might be new to the public, is her sense of humour.

The couple, however, has different weather preferences ! “Weird, right? I love cold weather, but my wife hates it and will have electric heaters, extra blankets and hot water bottles in every room. If we lived in cities that drop negative degrees, I wonder how we would have survived,” Raj says.

Four miscarriages

In recent years, Pinky has opened up and shared her tough journey to motherhood, which involved four miscarriages. Her first miscarriage happened in 2008 just one year into their marriage losing the pregnancy at 10 weeks. She, however, got pregnant a year later. At six weeks, it was discovered she had a blighted ovum. This occurs when a fertilised egg implants in the uterus, but doesn’t develop into an embryo.

It is a pregnancy where a sac and placenta grow, but a baby does not. It is also referred to as an anembryonic [no embryo). She again got pregnant for the third time. Fortunately, she carried the pregnancy to term and delivered their daughter Ariyana Raj Sehmi in 2010, through a Caesarian-section because she was afraid of any complication that would arise. When her daughter was one year old, she got pregnant again, but unfortunately, she lost the pregnancy at nine weeks. Five years after their daughter was born, the couple welcomed their son, Arian Didar Sehmi in 2015.

“Any loss is hard. For women, they talk about it and this helps in their healing journey. For us men, there are no outlets or safe spaces for a dad to mourn a child. We are expected to be brave and somehow move on without proper therapy, I believe that men should be allowed to experience loss without judgement and tough love,” Raj shares.

Emotional times

He says how he and Pinky had each other and helped one another grieve during the trying moments and how these emotional times brought them even more closer as a couple.

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“My advice to couples going through the same ordeal; be open, honest and understand each other’s values in the relationship as well as care for each other’s needs,” he adds.

Pinky recently started an online show dubbed, What Women Want, where she hosts women who get to share impactful stories. She is also mentoring young women on brand building, public speaking and content creation. Further, she co-owns a production company with her husband.

They say behind every successful man, there’s a supportive wife. It is also true that behind every successful woman is a supportive man. Raj has been Pinky’s biggest supporter.

“I’m her main support system in this journey because I see her passion, ambition and the need to curate conversations that will change people’s lives from their core,” he says. Raj shares that he is usually behind the scenes, but practically filming the episodes, working together to create great content.

“It’s nice to see her evolution in this industry, I have seen her come a long way and she still has miles to cover, it’s an interesting space to be in, but teamwork makes the dream work,” Raj says in conclusion.

Any loss is hard. For women, they talk about it and this helps in their healing journey. For us men, there are no outlets or safe spaces for a dad to mourn a child.

AT A GLANCE

• Pinky Ghelani is a public speaker and has spoken at several forums such as TedX, This Is My Story, Dadasphere and Engage.

• She has been a supporter of United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees since ‘ 2017. She has served as a champion of the £ to W advocate and raise funds w to support people forced to flee their homes because of violence, conflict and persecution.

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• Raj Sehmi is three years younger than Pinky and this has never caused a problem to their marriage.

• She is an animal lover. She is also a yogi

By PD.co.ke

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